Usually we want to be well informed. We want to be prepared . But when is the information more than we wanted to know???????
As most of you know i am going to have knee replacement surgery on April 19,.
I have gone over the procedure with my doctor, , and PA. I have discussed the operation with a couple of women I workout with at the gym. I have a general idea of what is going to take place. I have seen the 8 to 10 inch scar in the front of the knee. I know it is going to be more painful than the orthoscopic surgery that I have already had.
In order to better understand the operation, each patient is asked to attend a joint replacement class at the hospital.
I went to the class last Tuesday.
When you are scheduled for surgery, you are given a patient booklet , that has a lot of info in it. You are asked to take this booklet to class with you.
The nurse who lead the class, started going through the information in the booklet.
She also had a model of the knee and it was passed around showing the part that will be replacing our damaged joints. That was a little un-nerving. To see the actual shinny metal piece that is going in my knee. Guess I will really set off the airport buzzer now, with more metal in my body. I already have a rod in my back from a back injury.
As I sat in the class listening to the nurse explain what was expected of us, I felt very confident that I would be a model patient.
But then she got to the dangers of the operation. The one that stands out is blood clots.
They give you blood thinners in your IV to keep that danger down. Also ware compression bandages on lower legs for more prevention. And a nurse will show each of us how to give ourselves shots in the stomach area of a blood thinner once we at home.
Whooo !!!, wait a minute. Did I hear that right? I am expected to use a hypodermic needle and give myself a shot in my belly. Tisha, I think we have a problem.
I do not do needles. Tisha has a fear, a phobia of needles. Just looking at a needle, and I get light headed and fell like i am going to pass out.
Just this week I took Titan in to the vet to have his shots, I could not look at the needles laid out of his shots. I was so glad the nurse held him while the vet gave him the shots.
I just took deep breaths and looked away. So relieved when it was over.
So to be informed that I have to do the shots was more information than I needed or wanted to know. They say ignorance is bliss.
So I went home more anxious than before the class.
I was feeling stressed, could not get my mind off that image of me giving myself a shot. I almost passed out thinking about it.
I was not sleeping, having bad dreams, waking up in a cold sweat.
At one point I wanted to eat everything, but my better sense prevailed and I didn't. Then when I did fix my dinner, I couldn't hardly eat, just pick at my food. .
I was besides myself with this business of needles, shots and me doing it.
My daughter has so much on her plate. Just getting over her own surgery. Her sons. hip operation, it's hard to expect her to look after me too. My son in law is fearful of needles too, so he's no help. Then there's Jim, my loving sweetie, who has offered to help me.
But he lives in Lake Oswego, a little distance from here. Though I am sure if I need him here he would come a running. But I am independent , I want to take care of myself. I am not used to relying on others. But I finally talked to Jim about my dilemma , and of course he said no problem. He's an old hand at giving shots. His late wife was diabetic and had to have shots.
I also saw my daughter today at the orthopedic center ,. where my grandson was getting his post op check up. She told me, don't worry about the shots, she will come over and give them to me. Plus help me with anything else I might need done.
So you would think that settles that issue.? Well it does in a way. But I still think it's time for me to conquer my fears and step up to the plate and take care of myself.
If I get a bee sting I go into apoplectic shock. I have a kit on hand to get a shot if I need it.
I have only had to use it once, and someone else was there to give me the shot.
But now I am going to get the kit out and open it up and take the needle out and get used to it.
Well I am going to open the kit. Taking the needle in my hand might take a few days. I have 10 days before I go to the hospital.
I told the PA , doctors assistant today that I was going to overcome this phobia once and for all. She said she thinks I will. Of course she would say that. You don't tell someone they are going to fail .
So wish me luck. this time I really need it. I don't want to sound like a big baby, but maybe I am. I am a dare devil in so many ways. But with needles, I have a ways to go.
Which brings me to. When is there too much information.?
Am I glad I know about the shots ahead of time? Not really. But since I do, I have to address the issue. Would I have rather found out the day after the surgery in the hospital?. Probably yes.
Most time when faced with something that is daunting, a person steps up and performs better than expected. Sometimes showing unusual strengths and courage.
Of course I could have freaked out and then someone would have had to step in and help me.
If I had not known, I would have not had this added stress and anxiety. Then on the other hand I might not have ever tried to overcome my fear. It's fifty, fifty.
My plans for going to the hospital and afterwards are all made.
Titan is all ready to go to the Doggie hotel for a short stay. I have his things packed.
Today I got the rest of what I need for my hospital stay. My bag is packed.
For about 4 days I will not log on to Spark. I will break my perfect attendance. But it can't be helped. I don't have a phone app. Besides I think I will have other things on my mind for a while. Spark will be there when I get home and feel like getting on the computer.
So dear Spark friends, you take care .
Peace and Love,