Excuse me Ma'am you're awfully fat.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

I had an eye opening and excruciatingly painful reality check today.

I was perusing some pics from a recent event I had attended when it hit me...
THAT'S MY BUTT?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should never be subjected to having to see yourself from behind, sitting down, with a tight shirt on at a very overweight state.


I've been on a sad and painful gaining journey. Today the reality of that smacked me in the face. When I realized it was me tears instantly began to fill my eyes.
Then I remembered the promises I had made myself at the beginning of this year and how it was going to be the best ever and all the goals that I had set. Then I began to break down. I realized that I hate myself. I hate who I am, who I've become, who I'm forcing myself to be by my food and exercises choices or lack there of. I'm ashamed of myself.

I felt sorry for myself so sorry I began to binge eat. Why because that's what I do. However, at this time. I am taking control. And even though I've said that a million times ( with previous blogs to prove it) this time I have to do it! I will look at this picture ever day if I have to to give myself the motivation to keep going.

I want to share this photo with you and I encourage you to look at your self from behind because it's a real reality check!

I think I might burn that shirt!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • AMYNAE28
    I know exactly how you feel! I am the same way! I was on this high from eating right for a few days...even exercising! I know! And then I wanted frozen pizza with my family last night. So what did I do? I ate half of it! Then I finished off 3/4 of a box of gluten free kitkat! I feel miserable now. I know I am an emotional eater... I too look at pics of my self and say, "This is the year!" Hahaha I remember something I said awhile ago: "It's 2008...It's gonna be great! It's the year I lose all my weight!

    Well 3 years later I am still over 200 lbs. So I understand. We can do this. We are only failures if we give up completely and never look back! Never give up! So each time we get back on schedule with eating right and living as healthy as we can...WE ARE LOVING OURSELVES! We are making the decision that we deserve better than we have to given ourselves. I am here if you need someone to talk to. It'd be great to have someone to tell, "I am so thinking about eating my weight in chocolate again... Help!" I am here for you!
    3662 days ago
  • LIZZY63
    Don't burn the shirt, keep it for later to show how far you have come.

    Use it as motivation to never go back to where you came.
    3668 days ago
    Don't feel badly! We have all been there. You need to love yourself and care enough to eat the healthy things and be nice to your body! Chin Up! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3668 days ago
    Don't hate yourself, love yourself! And know that you have the ability to change the things you don't like about yourself. :)
    3668 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1952942
    Hello my friend,
    I am with you on everything. I am ashamed to say that that could very well be me from the back. I am really scared to take my pic from the back. But you know what, that is just what I am going to do. I need to get serious about this too. I am back with SP just a few weeks now, and yes I lost 6 pounds, however in the last week I lost 0. I like to say "Well at least I am not gaining". NO!!! I am not putting my full effort into this. Thank you my friend for you Blog.
    3668 days ago
    Fresh cut grass. Sunshine. Driving with the car windows down. House windows open, breeze stirring the curtains. Puppy breath. The sound of a lawnmower (off in the distance). Good friends that love you unconditionally. Just sayin.
    3668 days ago
  • LINDA!
    I agree with the others. Don't hate yourself. Keep the picture and you will be able to post your AFTER picture right next to it. Let it show others that it can be done! emoticon
    3668 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9810080
    Don't hate yourself! Love yourself!
    I know it is hard when you don't like the image you see in that picture but if you hate yourself, you will punish your body. What you really need to try is to work with your body and treat it with respect by providing good nutrition and proper exercise! But do it with love!
    I can tell you this because I have also 'hated' myself in the past and the feeling was awful. I work on loving myself everyday and I don't always succeed but I try. At least build a respectful relationship of body and mind!
    Best wishes!
    3669 days ago
    Don't burn it. Keep it and put it on in 25 pounds, 50 pounds, etc. That can be your "before" picture. :-)
    3669 days ago
    Just be DONE with it and do it!! Eat healthy, exercise, and reach your goals!! Each day that you spend not working towards your goals is one less day of your life that you'll live unfulfilled. Just DO it and don't give in!!

    emoticon emoticon
    3669 days ago
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