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What Pets Write In Their Diaries.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...

8 :00 am-Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am-A car ride ! My favorite thing!
9:40am-A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am-Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm-Lunch! My favorite thing!
3:00pm-Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00pm-Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00pm-Wow! Watched TV with people! My favorite thing!
11:00pm-Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity..

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear in their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try again tomorrow...but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.. The dog receives special privilege's. He is regularly released-and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

I am certain the bird is an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe .
For now.................

My friend emailed this to me, author unknown.
I thought is was very funny. Wanted to pass it on.
Hope you get a good laugh reading it.
I could just picture the dog and cat as they described their everyday lives.
Peace and Love, Tisha emoticon emoticon
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