The NERVE of my own kids!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
I come here to write because I have no real friends locally. The people I work with are very nice but also very different, no one I can really get to know as a friend. My two oldest friends are across the country and are involved with their own lives...husbands, grandchildren, normal stuff. So I come here when life is "getting" to me and I need to vent. VENTING TIME!
As you may know (if you read my installments), I recently lost my father. It caused more anxiety than I expected and after 3 weeks of hearing from no one from that side of my family, I finally heard from my mother, in response to an e-mail I had sent to her a few days after it happened. She politely thank me for the nice words, which is her M.O. and then surprisingly mentioned to me that my ex-husband had CALLED her, "just as he was returning from his honeymoon." This WAS a surprise!
First of all...they are MY parents and as far as I'm concerned, he has NO right to be calling. In fact, the ONLY way he could have even found out about my father was through a "friend" of ours, who is on my Facebook and must have told him when he saw the announcement I made to my friends (since my dad was the high school coach at my school and alot of my old friends had him for PE or as a coach)
I knew he had a girlfriend (who I saw in a photo a couple of years ago, thinking it was his sister at the time...eeuuu!) but didn't know they had married (which I'm assuming is his bride...after all, who wouldn't want to marry a sister-look-a-like?) I forwarded my mothers letter to each of my kids mostly for their response the the news of his marriage and my daughter responded, "Oh, you didn't know he got married?"
Now am I wrong to feel SO disappointed and insulted, not from the ex (who hasn't communicated ONE word since we split) but from my OWN children? All three, I believe knew of the upcoming marriage but NO ONE mentioned it to me!
Oh, I know...maybe they were trying to spare my feelings and didn't want to get me upset...I DON'T accept that! Do THEY respect ME so little that they couldn't be honest with me? Tears run down my face as I write this because of the hurt I'm feeling right now. Am I being unreasonable? But to MY loved ones, I tell the truth and then am there if they need me...my own children couldn't do this for ME! Boy, talk about feeling alone!
I realize I have been a bit of a sucker over my lifetime...but I think, NO, I KNOW it's time to make a life for ME and let everyone else fly their own journeys...I can't worry about them all while I slowly deteriorate myself. Don't I deserve some kind of respect? Boy, if I could only have the last ten years back of my life, things WOULD be different. Having just turned 60 does have the tendency to knock me back a step or two but if not now...then when?
Thanks for your attention. My rant is over and I feel much better! As always, Sparkpeople is there for me! Have a great week, ya'll!