Speechless in Salem,
Friday, July 29, 2011
Yesterday I had a couple of light headed experiences. I had a headache and couldn't even sit at the computer to Spark.
I spent most of the afternoon in bed. I felt a little better by evening, or so I thought.
I was making butternut squash risotto , stirring the broth in and had to sit down, still dizzy. But I finished the dish, and it tasted fantastic..
I had planned to get in a lot of Spark time, but the way I felt, I could only huddled, with my teams , left a few messages and checked my friends feed before I had to go back to bed.
This morning I work up , thinking what ever is wrong is gone.
Well it wasn't. I was still dizzy and felt weak, achy.
I didn't go to my office, didn't log on to the computer. Didn't check in on Spark.
Thought I have all day to do that.
I decided to stay home and not go to my aerobics classes today.
I can still get in exercises here at home. I can do some strength training.
I have a Nordic track to walk on. Resistance bands, weights , exercise ball, DVD's. and if I feel better I have a pool here at the apartment to get in some water exercises.
But in my head I had this inner conflict about whether I should go or not.
Voice 1. said," Go , don't give in to little sick feeling .." Voice 2. " No stay home, take care of yourself." Voice 1. " That's how you start to slack off, miss one time now and the next time will be easier." Voice 2. " you know what's best for yourself, do what you think is right.". Voice 1. " You will feel better when you get to the gym, you always do.". OK, "Enough,: I cried out. I am tired of this inner conflict in my head. Just shut up, I am not going that's it. I can do other things and one missed cardio class will not set me back as far as my exercises go.
Well with that decided , I laid back in bed and looked at the clock . As it got closer to the time I should be leaving for the gym I wonder whether I was making the right decision . Maybe I could go, maybe I should, the inner voices were coming back. " No, I am not going to risk my health for one aerobics class."
The time passed that I should leave and I felt relieved. I laid there thinking about all the other inner conflicts we have with ourselves.
I have them when I am out shopping. I see something I want , and Voice 2 . says "YOU don't need that." Voice 1. , "Yes you do. It will be gone if you wait. " Voice 2. , You can't afford to get it now. Voice 1. Get it, worry about money later.
You get the idea. To be honest I have quite a conflict with shopping. But I am getting much better. I am listening to voice number 2 almost all he time. I am resisting impulse shopping, and only buying when I have the actual extra cash to pay for it.
Of course we all have heard the inner voices when it comes to food choices.
Ever been out at a restaurant , Say Olive Garden, you keeping looking at the Chicken Alfredo, compared to the Lemon Chicken. One had a 1250 calories, the other 550. The inner voice in your head is telling you have the Alfredo, it won't hurt. You earned it. The other voice is saying , No, don't waste calories on that fat heavy food. You are doing so good. Don't blow it now. . But the Alfredo voice is really pushing you to just this once eat something that you used to love and eat all the time. But the good stay on track voice is telling you stay strong. choose the Lemon Chicken. And if you must indulge share a dessert with someone. The good voice is the one I listen too.
This is one battle of voices that I am winning. Voice number two (2), the good voice is coming out ahead in all my inner food conflicts. In fact there isn't many food voices any more. Through time I have learned what is best for me.
So you want to know where the Speechless in Salem comes in??????
When I checked my e-mails and saw so many Spark comments on my Spark page. Many photo comments too.
I wondered what was going on. I thought my computer had gone haywire and was repeating the messages or something.
I checked my Spark page and that's when I found out I was MOD for the day.
I was totally surprised. Really speechless. And it's not often I am speechless!.
There are so many people who have achieved excellent success on Spark , to be included with them is such an honor..
I promise that I will get back to each person who has left a message on my page or given me a goodie. Or commented on a photo.
It's the friendship. the acknowledgement from others that encourages one to keep this journey going. Besides the great feeling I experience each day when I get up and realise that I am 149 pounds. I am no longer obese. I can do almost anything I want. I have no barriers preventing me from achieving what ever I want to do.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I am finally getting used to the person I see .
I have accepted myself, whatever shape my older body might be in. There are wrinkles that were not there before, but there is muscle and strength that I have recently developed. I have a sparkle in my eye , a smile on my face and the shocking red hair will brighten up any day.
My life has take on new meaning. I want to give back as much as I can.
I am mentoring a couple of women now, guiding them on Spark and helping them
in anyway I can. I believe support is so important in success. I see them twice or three times a week and they have my e mail to keep in touch. They are doing water aerobics and soon we are going to try a short walking program. Need to get them outside and moving as much as I can.
I can't begin to thank all the lovely friends and members here on Spark who have encouraged and supported me during this time I have been on Spark.
And even though I am almost to the goal I set, 145 lbs, I am not going any place.
I will continue to Spark and track and be just as involved as I can be.
This site has been a lifesaver, the best healthy, fitness site there is..
I can't say enough good things about Spark.
Thought for today."The power to shape my life lies in my own hands. I'll be careful not to give it away."
Believe in yourself.
Peace and love,