*whimpers* I hafta do what, now??
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Ugh...this week's challenge hits me where it hurts. Physical activity.
I spent all night thinking about it last night, instead of doing it, and then feeling guilty. I know that today is a new day, and a chance to do what I'm supposed to do. But damn, I just don't want to! I have the best intentions, all day long...then I walk in the front door, and all I want to do is melt into my computer chair or my couch and relax. Dinner is my "enjoy" meal. I always leave a few extra calories to play with that meal, so I can have something a little richer, a little more savory. I want to relax with it. I don't want to change clothes and hit the streets, put a video in, find a place in front of the PC to workout. I know I have to...I know I need to...I just don't WANT TO! And that's a problem.
Last night, I was working on turning that around. I told myself, "Yes, Beth...actually, you DO want to. You signed up for this challenge. You did that knowing there would be workouts. You knew, and you WANTED it. Which means you do want to work out and exercise. " I actually couldn't come up with an argument against that, either...because it's true. I DID know there would be exercise. That IS why I signed up. So why didn't I DO it?!
My own resistance is just baffling me. Because it's not like I can't enjoy walking, either...even though my brain is whispering that I HATE it. I enjoyed the walk this weekend. It was hard going up hills, sure, but no where near the embarrassing event I had worked up in my head. It was fine. I enjoyed it. I was happy when it was done....but I enjoyed doing it, and I felt satisfaction knowing I could do it, and (ok, a little ashamed of this one) that I could do it more easily than my friend did!
So, I enjoyed it, I want it...why, why, why am I still resisting DOING it?!? I'm so frustrated with my mind!