the front lines have been breached!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Well, I had good intentions...isn't that how it always starts out? We tackle this weight loss/self-improvement with the best intentions and slowly we tend to fall of our wagon of "I CAN do it!" to a wagon of snacks and soda or ice cream and cake....I hate how I feel when I don't eat right for even two meals because I get a stomach ache that will last for two days. I am not working out again, but that might also be because well frankly I am SO tired and SO sore from my new job I'm not sure what day it is half the time and my feet hate me. I stand for 8 to 10 hours with a ten minute break every 2 hours with a 20 min lunch thrown in there somewhere. I sit in the nearest possible seat whenever I have a break to rest my poor feet and I thank God I bought those shape-ups because there is no way I could afford to buy a pair right now.
I have to face facts, we're pretty much broke, all the time. I know it's because I have terrible money management skills. I admit it's all me, and I have told my husband this TIME and TIME again...yet he, who is great with money, still has me pay the bills and be in charge. Well I guess it's time I grow up huh. I am not sure how I will manage my schooling other than to pray I get good team members who will be understanding and helpful with me and my homework and scheduling issues. I am working 40 to 50 hours a week, maybe even 60 at times....it isn't going to be easy, so far the kids, the housework, the sleeping, and my body is handling the job okay. My diet, my exercise, and my homework are not....I need to prioritize. I am thinking of taking an extended leave of absence from facebook! It is such a time consuming killer for me. I only play two of the games on there but ugh I could spend hours playing them if I let myself.
I need to recommit but I also need to be realistic about what this job means for my homework which up until now I didn't have because I was on a break. I also have my personal relationships I need to take care of and make time for. My kids and love HAVE to be reminded that I am always here and I will always love them.
I have a lot of work ahead of me, in school, in life, in myself....I just need to remember that I'm worth it, and I need to remember that I am doing this so I can better myself, my life, my children's lives, and to be able to be with the person I want to spend my life with as a partner and not a burden.
eh, I've ranted and raved enough...yes my front line of battle against the bulge has been breached, but I'm going to send my reinforcements! I went to the dr last week and my blood pressure was finally under control. On medication, but still the best it has been in years. Then, since my BMI is over 3o I get to either get a pedometer which I have to upload from or I can join WW for free! Well, since I use an elliptical most of the time to work out and I stand pretty still at work I'm not sure how good an elliptical would work so WW it is. I am also going to take a Dave Ramsey course the next time there is one in my area and stop being an idiot.
That's all for now...off to bed for me.