I didn't fail -- I just forgot how to learn

Friday, September 30, 2011

I had an "Oh-my-God" moment when I was commenting on a team member's blog. I am posting my comment here because I said to her what I have needed to say to myself, and I want to remember it. Her blog was about how she feels she fails by not tracking or by not doing the things she knows she needs to do to fix her health. Paula's blog really hit home with me because I beat myself up over the same things, but why? Here is the revelation I had:

"It's called learning, babe. We try. We fall. We pick ourselves up. We try again. We fall again. The more we try, fall, and pick ourselves up again, the longer the times between our falls. The longer we stay on our feet. The stronger our legs get. You don't remember when you first learned to walk, but that's exactly how you did it -- trying and falling and trying again. The only difference between then and now is that somewhere along the way, we developed this crazy belief that we should just do something -- even something we are not good at or have never learned to do successfully -- without any sort of set-back or failure. It's not realistic. If we had had that attitude as babies, we would still be sitting around on our bottoms, waiting for someone to take us where we want to go. But we didn't know any better as babies. We just had this urge inside to get up and try those shaky legs. And we learned to walk.

"So you have shaky legs. So do I. BUT WE ARE NOT GOING TO GIVE UP -- NO MATTER HOW BAD WE ARE AT THIS. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES WE FALL OR DON'T LIVE UP TO OUR PERFECTIONISTIC EXPECTATIONS. We are going to keep standing and falling and standing and falling until one day, we not only stand and stay standing, but we RUN!"
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Basically, brilliant analogy!
    3480 days ago
    Oh wow!!! This is exactly what I needed to hear too. Thank you.
    3480 days ago
    Wow! You rock!

    "but we RUN!" Heck yeah!

    3480 days ago
    This is a journey- not a destination.
    Be kind to yourself- if you don't, who will?
    3496 days ago
    Thank you so much for the spices, WT!! How did you know I love good spices? Anyway, thank you for putting into words the thoughts that run rampant through my head (mostly at 4:00 am). I love y'all emoticon
    3504 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6188441
    WOW! Your blogs always hit home for me. Thank you so much for your honesty and commitment to not giving in.
    3506 days ago
    Oh WT-I love our support team--your blog is exactly why it works! That's why we come here. I so appreciate you kicking me in the a## about beating myself up. I get so mad at myself sometimes and just start that negative self-talk. I'm just like you though, I tell everyone else not to do it and we're all human and we all mess up, but what I say to others is sometimes NOT what I say to myself! Ok, most always NOT what I say to myself---I am so much harder on ME!

    Well put my dear friend, I need to treat and respect myself as much as I do other people, after all I'm just as important, right?

    So are you....

    I love that you have such a wonderful way to put your honest feelings down in writing for all of us. Talk about getting real with yourself! Here's to running!
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    3512 days ago
    Thanks for the reminder that this is a learning process! I really needed it today!
    3513 days ago
    Your thoughts hit home in a very personal way. Thanks for taking the time to write them!
    3513 days ago
    Well you aren't the only one!!! Wow we all fall off our programs everyday by thinking we've beat the system, then we do go longer in between:( unfortunately its who we are- HUMAN!!!

    So get excited like its a new house or what ever gets you wound up and refocus!!!
    3513 days ago
  • CHEEKY1000
    Jeeez! You just have to go and be wise. I'm glad you are! What a great reminder.

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    3515 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9523199
    emoticon I have to constantly remind myself of the same things. Well said!
    3515 days ago
    Fabulous advice to give to others...and yourself. In actual fact it's almost exactly the same advice I give to my ballet students when they are adement that they can't do something....I say that just as well that they didn't have this mentality and defeatist attitude when they were young otherwise they'd still be laying in their cots saying "gaga googoo". I tell them they have already achieved the 2 hardest things to learn in life: walking and talking, and that they didn't learn that over night, but my falling and picking themselves up, word by word until their first sentence. I try to teach them to be as determined and optimistic that they WILL get as they woiuld've when they were babes.

    And I never thought of applying it to myself until I read your blog.....and for that I... emoticon
    3516 days ago
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    3516 days ago
    Such a great point!

    And don't you love it when you're giving advice to someone else, and you have that DUH! moment when you realize you're really writing to yourself?

    Thanks for sharing. :)
    3516 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5819721
    WOW, this blog is so me. Thanks I needed this. emoticon
    3516 days ago
    3516 days ago
    What a wonderful blog, full of fantastic insights and inspirations.

    Thank you!
    3517 days ago
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