MOMMA_GRIZZ

SparkPoints
 

A timely reminder & a question

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Today I received an email from Sparkpeople that said: "This is John Hulsey, SparkPeople Success Story Manager. You have been identified as one of SparkPeople's success stories, and we want to share an opportunity with you to potentially celebrate your success with a national audience."

Do I dare respond to it? After regaining a third of what I lost - Do I still feel as a success? I haven't felt successful in a long time. The scale is a hard task master isn't it?

So today I took a hard long look at my journey.........

Through hard work and perseverance, I lost over half of myself (153.6 lbs) and maintained that weight loss for almost 2 years. But then 'life happened' (aka menopause) and I, with the help of my whacky hormones and by my slacking off my healthy regime, regained 51.5 of those lost pounds.

My history:

At my highest weight (296.6) I had a BMI of 47.

On Jan 17, 2007 I had a BMI of 42. I was experiencing hearth palpitations, high cholesterol, couldn't breath - my doctor was threatening me with medication - life was hell!

I lost 141.6 pounds and I met my official goal weight of 155 pounds on March 12, 2008. My heart palpitations stopped, my cholesterol was normal, I could breath, I could move, my doctor was happy and so was I!

I lost an additional 12 pounds and on April 23, 2008 I weighed 143 and had a BMI of 23.

I maintained that 153 pound weight loss for 2 years but then slowly slacked off and stopped caring.....
Fast forward to Oct 2011 - Sigh.....after stepping on the scale after so long, I have regained 51.5 pounds and have a BMI of 30.

Looking back, I now realize that when I fell off track, I was letting my love of food and trying to use it to heal unseen wounds back into my life. Food cannot heal those wounds; only love for myself can. So I licked my wounds for a while, felt sorry for myself for a while, gained a little more weight but I am slowly regaining my sanity.......

Do I want to get back to 143? No, it was too skinny for me - I didn't feel right and looked gaunt. At my age, I can settle for 160. My goal now is to lose at least 30 pounds and I know I can do it!

I want to feel healthy again. I want to feel at my best again. I want to feel in control again.

I remember what it felt like - It's amazing what healthy living brings you and what doors it opens for you! When I was larger, those doors in the long hallway of life were probably always open but my lack of self-confidence wouldn't let me go through them.

Yes, I have regained weight since reaching my goal but do I still consider myself a success? Yes! I have been large all my life - but had maintained my weight loss for almost 2 years! Being skinny was an absolutely new world for me - there was a LOT to overcome - physically and mentally. I feel bad about regaining because it was my own doing, but at LEAST I've only regained a THIRD of what I've lost AND I'm going to do something about it.

Since November, 2011 I really starting taking my weight loss seriously again......let's see how this leg of my journey pans out.......

As I write this, I have officially lost 2.4 of that extra poundage! I've come home to Sparkpeople again (I never really left but chose to ignore what it was telling me as I was trying to fill that hole with food) and I'm set to continue this amazing journey! It may be a roller coaster ride but it is my choice whether I want to go up or down isn't it?

I'm still not sure if I'll respond to the email or not but it sure was a timely reminder and I thank Sparkpeople for it. It took that email for me to realize that I'm NOT actually a failure; I can still continue my journey to health. My hormones may be making it harder to lose but I just need to try harder. I need to take back control and just move forward.

Should I respond to that email, answer their questionnaire and send my (as requested) my most shocking before and after shots?

I'm not sure - so I ask you - should I?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LUCKYDUCK2
    Yes you should! Because success is so much more then weight loss. It is about body, mind and Soul and you are working all areas.

    Sometimes working on one area takes away from others but you needed to address and heal the mind and Soul.

    Your a success story and a winner and don't EVER tell yourself differently. I congratulate you on finding you first and foremost and finding your way back from what can be our bigget and in some cases..most painful challenge to good health

    Hugs dear friend.
    3415 days ago
  • MRSDAVIS09
    You ARE a success! Look what you've accomplished? Your little setback doesn't erase all you've done and become. As Flylady says. . ."You are not behind. . .just jump in where you are and run with it!"

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3430 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10775505
    Oh, I am so slow seeing your blog and I am sorry. emoticon I hope you did respond to that email as no matter what you were and are a success. emoticon Just because you tripped is no reason to cancel out being successful. If it wasn't for you and LM I would not have come back and to date - I have finally lost 25 pounds! emoticon Part of the reason is the inspiration I got from you.
    Momma Grizz that old weight is poking at your bear self, do your Momma Grizz thing and swat it back where it belongs. emoticon

    Hugs and you get busy back here and you will see it will all be back to feeling wonderful in no time at all. emoticon
    3443 days ago
  • BITTYGIRL51
    I am so glad you are back! I have missed our friendship on here, so much! I subscribed to your blog..so that as soon as you jumped back on, I would know it! Woo Hoo! Let's do this, girl! I am with you. Although I am no longer a WW person...and haven't gained much weight back, I understand exactly where you are coming from and empathize.

    What's to lose by responding to the e-mail? Nothing! So, I say, go for it! You have been and will continue to be an inspiration. Terri, there's no time like the present. I commend you for getting "real", being a testimony on here of what can and does happen. I'm still working on a personal goal that I've never attained, but I like tracking on SP and am working hard on changing up things somewhat.

    Hope to hear from you real soon. emoticon
    3455 days ago
  • CTEMPLE
    Just reply with an email with the text if this blog dear T. If they're honest about helping people they will still want you.
    You are a realistic success story.
    C.
    3456 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/27/2011 11:50:43 PM
  • SUSAN134
    Definitely respond to the email - in the affirmative! Your story is so classic and I bet most of Spark readers will identify with it. It is also inspirational and positive....you are back and doing something to regain your healthy lifestyle! Excellent!!!

    Good luck to you, I KNOW you will be successful!
    3456 days ago
  • HEALTHY4ME
    YES!!! think of the hard work, determination that got you to the amt lost.... that is incentive, motivation for others. if you aren't sure of yourself, think of all the people that say wow you make me.... you have for me, but then as you put life, menopause and lack fo self esteem have made me not keep going.
    Tell him that you have gained back and aren't sure if you feel you need to.... but they must look at the spark pages. and girl you are motivation and determination. and hey this may be the push to make you feel worthy about you again... HUGS and belive me you have done great. I have been here since 2006 and am heavier than then ( menopause and bad knees are my excuses) and I have lost no more than 10 lbs and put it back on. so go for it!!!
    YAYAYAYAY
    3456 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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