feeling rather melancholy this Christmas
Friday, December 23, 2011
Don't have any particular reason... my family is rather small 4 of my sons. my mom, and a daughter in law, my brother and his wife, a niece and a nephew, that is it.
2 of my sons live on opposite ends of the USA, so I do not always see them each Christmas. My niece and nephew are from 2 different families so they often share holidays, not really an issue. The older son is going through some trying times right now trying to get pregnant,with fertility issues, and going back to work after a work injury. Lots of stress.
The other son, (one of the twins) is traveling between Ill and Wis getting a business up and running. Happy but stressful also.
This son and his partner usually go to Christmas Eve service with me and my Mom. Our church, Willow Creek does 14 Christmas Eve services through the week prior to Christmas as it is large and family schedules, and for a variety of reasons.... Anyway. I did not ask him this year to go with because I did not want to have him feel pressured because of travel etc.
I almost didn't go.... BUT I wanted to because it was Christmas! I didn't want to go alone ..... not the same. So I called my mom to go with me, she usually does anyway, but this year she had a lumpectomy and radiation for breast cancer, and she is very tired, I just wanted someone with me.
We have a tradition in our church. The last song we sing with just minimal music is Silent Night. The pastor is Dutch, so he jokes about not being touchy feely but for us to go ahead! The whole church, all 5,000 of us at one time sing, sway to the melody, hug, kiss, make up, cry, and be in the wonder of Christmas..... I missed my son, and the realization that my Mom is getting more fragile......,,, the brevity of life...... the grace of my Lord and Savior. Glad that He loves me in spite of myself.
Not sure where this is going ....... have a wonderful, beautiful, Christmas everyone!