No more excuses!
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Sitting around the table last night playing cards with my in-laws and laughing the most profound thing I noticed was that my sister-in-law whom I love dearly has put on a few pounds over the holidays. As have I, my husband, and I am sure my father-in-law and brother-in-law as well. I was doing so good, down to 216...then in a week I gained 5 lbs!!!!! I finally found myself in the store that sells the jeans I love, the jeans I've been needing a smaller size of and I no longer really needed a smaller size. That was depressing. My sister in law turns 45 on Valentine's Day, she had decided she wanted to be at her goal weight by Valentine's day....instead of working her way there, she took off the holidays and ate whatever she wanted. I did the same and I am not happy with myself for that.
I woke up this morning far too early, having gone to bed at 3 am, and was instantly ill. I had the nasty burning taste of bile in my mouth, not from drinking because that's not something I do a lot of, but because of all of the high heartburn, bile building, sodium and fat high foods I ate yesterday. Plus I don't know when I exercised last, AND I have been out of one of my blood pressure meds for a few weeks now and have been too lazy or too broke to go pick it up. Now of course I can't go get it today since the pharmacy is closed, but come tomorrow all of this crappy behavior on my part is going to change. No more excuses, no more bullcrap.
I know my husband, kids, friends, family all love me, but I want to love me. I want to snap a pic of myself and not take 3 or 4 more till I get a good one without my double chin in the picture. .. We all do it, you know you do it too. We check our pics before share them because omgosh we would never post one without checking first in case it made us look like crap. I don't want to do that, I don't want to feel like I felt this morning ever again. I didn't enjoy myself last night because I was self-conscious of my belly bulge that was not there two weeks ago. Time for some changes and I am starting with me. No more being in control of everyone else or responsible for their motivation, I need to spend my energy on me! When I'm done motivating myself I'll pass some of my good cheer around but I have to put me first for a change. I so seldom do that and if I don't who will?
So instead of having a resolution to lose weight, or work out more, or eat right, I'm going to make a New Years resolution to be in control, to take care of me....I do not want to end another year, another month, another week, another day with regrets! No more excuses....now I'm going to go drink several glasses of water, workout, and pee a lot.