SHANSHE
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2012 ~ Goals

Monday, January 02, 2012

I do not understand why I have been so resistant to write this blog. I have alot of good ideas swirling through my mind, maybe that's the problem. Been trying to keep it simple so I can actually DO what I intend to do, but my thoughts keep jumbling over one another. I guess I should have written sooner so that I did not overwhelm myself with THINKING. Perhaps, that should be a goal... to not overthink things and just DO them. Anyway, here I am to make some sense of the jumbled mess in my head.

First of all, I feel disappointment in myself, I joined spark in September of 2007, did not get all that serious until later in the year and then if memory serves me correctly, 2008/2009 was my best years and ever since then, while not leaving spark, I have floundered. I have made goals and not met them, I have started over, I have done everything but actually LOSE the weight. I have to say though, I have had some mental growth, but at the same time, I have lost some of my confidence and belief in myself and my worth. In some ways, I have went backwards mentally/emotionally and spiritually, not just in gaining back weight. I guess lots of things have contributed to that, but to go back and rehash it would not be the point of this blog.

Second, due to the "first of all" paragraph, I fear that making these goals and plans for 2012 will see me failing again and here I'll be writing a similar blog come 2013. However, I DESPERATELY want to be different. I want to be closer to God, a better, more faithful Christian on fire for God. I want to be a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, daughter... everything. I want to ENJOY life and learn to live in the moment. I don't want to be difficult, depressed, or gloomy or living vicariously through others. I want to be free of the shame I feel for letting myself get so big, and free from the addiction of food. I feel shame and guilt and remorse in so many areas of my life and it is holding me back from achieving the things I want to achieve. I feel like a "fake", I mean I have been on spark since late 2007, weigh more than I did when I first started and I lead a biggest loser team and have for several seasons now! My aunt even said at Christmas, why would SHE check it out, it obviously wasn't getting results for me and I defensively said that I never asked her to check it out, or didn't want her too or whatever. But, she is right, I don't even tell others about spark anymore because I haven't been successful.

Despite all this, the desire in me to be different this year and move forward is all I have to cling to besides my Lord Jesus and my Susie just posted today on her sparkpage and on FB that ALL things are possible with God. I think, perhaps this is where I have fallen short, I have tried to do too many things on my own without asking for help and strength from God, or asking and then still trying to do it on my own. Therefore, my first yearly goal is:

1. Read the entire bible in 2012 - that requires reading it daily/regularly. I want to do this because I need a consistent time in God's Word, the compass of my life. How can it be that compass if I don't know what it says?

2. Pray more regularly and even make a physical prayer list if needed so that I don't "forget" things that need prayer or prayer requests. I pray best when I journal it, but I also used to talk to God alot more as I went through the day and it kept me aware of His presence around me. By next year, if not before, I should need a new prayer journal! :)

3. Spend LESS time on the computer and more time taking care of ME and my family. This means cutting down on FB games - blocking some of them so I do not get reminders to play them and requests etc... This also means more cleaning and cooking and spending fun time with them. Better TIME management.

4. Get the basics of a healthy lifestyle in place so there is something to build on next year instead of just starting anew. This includes things, like tracking & measuring, exercising, eating healthier, water. etc...

5. Read books that inspire and motivate as well as books that are simply pleasureable to read.

6. MAKE friends in my 3-D world by being a friend who is there.

7. Get my BA diploma from Midway mailed to me and also get my certification application mailed in ~ Also, apply at 2-3 different school districts for teaching jobs. (This probably needs to be completed by end of Feb., first of March)

8. Adjust to the upcoming 2nd shift job by preparing lunches/dinners ahead, getting sleep and getting stuff done during the day at home.

9. Use the above 8 yearly goals to make weekly, even daily if need be, short term goals.

I know people talk about medium term goals as well, and I think the yearly ones I've posted while somewhat long-term are more medium term goals because it's simply building a base to continue on my journey next year. I really am not sure of the exact long term goals, I just want to get headed towards them!

My goals for the rest of this evening:

1. Drink AT LEAST one cup or more of water - DONE
2. Read my daily bible reading and spend some time in prayer. - DONE
3. Read in the book (Amish series) I've been reading. - will do right after hitting post
4. Think on tomorrow's goals, maybe even come back here and add to this blog or just write on a piece of paper. - THINKING

Thanks for reading Sparkies!
Shan
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • URMYLF
    Hey, Shan. I've always wanted to read the bible cover to cover. Are you reading chronologically or from Genesis 1:1 to Revelations? I'm wondering if Chronologically would be easier to follow/do? What do you recommend? And how far have you gotten? I forget it's only January 10 now; I should get started! :)

    Speaking of cleaning, I saw a FlyLady bingo game the other day. Basically, you pick 25 things, sketch out a 25-squre grid on scrappaper, put those things in it, and then the caller (or you, even) pick a letter/number. Set the timer for 7 minutes, and get started! When you play with others, you stop at the end of an hour and see how many people got bingo. In my version (I've not yet played) you play until you get Bingo! :)

    About saving money: I HIGHLY recommend Dave Ramsey. You'd love it. Go to daveramsey.com. It's an initial investment of an hour a week for 13 weeks and 100.00 if you take the class in person. I did, so I would make sure Jim and I both did it...some accountability. Or you can by the kit and listen at home. It's the same info, you just don't SEE him and his props he describes on the CDs, and again, no accountability to follow through. It is AMAZING how our spending habits have changed, and with no other changes to our income, we're putting 100.00 extra on a credit card!

    I hear you about cutting down on FB. I'm finding a lot of my other friends (and I, too) are doing the same. How's that going?

    Oh, a tip for being a better friend: When I was losing touch with friends, I listed one 3-D friend on every page of my calendar. When I saw that friend's name, I would call to either chat (if they lived too far or we were too busy to meet) or set up a lunch/coffee date. It did WONDERS for my relationships. You also find out who is willing to make time for YOU, too, and can adjust calendar to fit those who are reciprocating in more, and cutting back on those who aren't. Thinking about this, I need to do this again. FB helps us stay in touch, but not all my friends are on it, and phone chats are so much more personal and in depth, you know?

    You have some fantastic long-term goals. A SMART tip: the most effective goals (long or short) are SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ATTAINABLE, REALISTIC, and TIMELY. It helps you see if you are getting results or need to change something so that you will see results. Example: I will lose weight VS I lose 20 lbs by March 14, 2012 (10 weeks) by exercsing daily and using Atkins/low-carb recipes from my Low-carb cookbook/SP low-carbing it team. When I was working towards becoming a teacher in college, I broke it down by years, and then months, and where applicable, by weeks. Each goal/part of a goal was a SMART goal and it really helped, because I could SEE what I was doing was actually accomplishing something for the larger purpose.

    You can accomplish EVERYTHING you have listed this year!!!!
    3413 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10406168
    I agree with your honesty being the key. You are so real and that speaks volumes. You can't change things you can't acknowledge. Big hugs to you.
    3418 days ago
  • KRZYKAT3
    SHannon,

    I think we sometimes need to go backwards to go forwards, don't you. I sure know how you feel though. I am guessing my lack of success in weight loss has made me feel like not being a leader. I started in 2005 and Jan 2011 saw me at the heaviest I have ever been, 239.

    yes, I have had health reasons but if I had lost it BEFORE I had those I would not have been THAT heavy. Maybe you can track your exercises and food by hand instead of trying to do it all on line. I often find that just making myself write down every bite into my mouth makes me think twice about what I eat. And then there is mindful eating - browse through some ideas on that team. Don't have to join, just check out the ideas. I do that often and even join teams where I want to just keep up with their information. I belong to lots of the spark teams for this reason.

    I have faith you will meet you yearly goals. I have HOPE you will make the daily and weekly choices to help you meet them. I am gla to hear you say, I am going to stand up and be happy and be counted. I am glad you are going to take time to live your life. As you live your life in 2012 remember how happy the rest of your family will be when you step up and be happy. It truly is contagious!

    GO SHANNON GO SHANNON!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3419 days ago
  • LIVE_TO_LOVE
    Your HONESTY is what will see you through, Shan. Here, at least, on SPARKpeople you are NOT a "fake". Everyone who knows you knows THAT, and we love you. I think you did a FANTASTIC job of analyziing and thinking this through, and it sounds like you went way further in depth than you shared. That's a good thing, as long as you come back to the positive (like you did) and turn it into ACTION. I have to do that too ~ right WITH you!!!

    I guess I'd better get cleaning! ;)
    LOVE YOU!
    3420 days ago
  • BARBARAROSE54
    Great goals Shannon, but I'm overwhelmed just reading them. Maybe you need to shorten your list until you get those accomplished in your life and then add more.

    Remember baby steps.
    3420 days ago
  • SHANSHE
    A couple more goals this year...

    1. To make another casting tape for Biggest Loser and send it in as well as make it to an audition if it is in anyway close enough I can make it.

    2. Start saving money (even if it's small) and making SERIOUS plans to meet my BSSFF Susie! ~ (Jann had a plan we might could utilize, so I need to start talking seriously with the others involved to see if they would be willing and able) - If that falls through, then make another plan...
    3420 days ago
  • RUTHXG
    These are great goals, Shan. Like you, I want to be really living instead of just talking about living, or fantasizing about it, or escaping it! As you make daily goals aimed at moving you toward your bigger 2012 goals, I pray that your spirit will lift toward joy & you'll sense all the impossible-possibility that God has for you!

    Thanks for being such a faithful friend.

    emoticon & happy new year!
    3420 days ago
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