A New Year = A New Start!!!
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
I have finally.....finally.....finall
y realized that I am a compulsive overeater and cannot manage without the help of my Higher Power! Wow! What a concept! I knew it all along but was not "totally" convinced I suppose. I would try to have "just one" and that always lead to a relapse of some sort. I have to look at this process the same way I am able to stay sober today...one day at at time.
I have been sober for 20+ years and I am sure if I apply what I have learned to my compulsive eating I will succeed. I guess I just have not been ready to make that commitment. But this year I am! I am tired of doing the yo-yoing back and forth. Yea - I have lost 40 pounds but that was almost six years ago and yes I have kept it off but I still have a lot more to go. I can't look at that 40 pounds as being successful today! That is in the past and I starting fresh TODAY. With the weight I am TODAY!
I have been eating everything and anything I wanted over the past month and have gained 10+ pounds. So, once again, I see how easy it comes back on. And I see how just one bite can move me in the wrong direction.
How many times have I said this?
How many times have I written about this?
Probably a few hundred or so. But I won't give up. I will keep on keeping on until I get it done. They say in AA "don't stop coming back before the miracle happens" and I won't stop doing this thing until I get the healthy body I want! My miracle is coming and it may be just around the corner. With the help of my Higher Power, my friends in OA, my Sparkpeople friends and the many positive actions I am going to take, I will get there. I feel it in my bones. This time is THE TIME. The time I get it right, the time I make it work, the time I give control over to my Higher Power and allow him to lead me into freedom from compulsive overeating.
Will it be easy? NO!
Will it be worth it? DEFINITELY!!!
Take care my friends.