I Hope This is a Good Idea....
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Okay. I'm just going to take a deep breath and blog, then post and hope that I am okay with the results...
Six years ago my husband and I decided we wanted to start a family. We were rushing it. We were just married but we had been together for over seven years. Our finances weren't right, we lived in an apartment, I had yet to finish school.... but we wanted a baby. So we started trying. And trying. And trying. I finished school. We eliminated our credit card debt. We bought a house. The only thing missing was the baby. And we kept trying.
In late 2007, a friend suggested Sparkpeople to me. In a odd flash of honesty, I confessed to my teeny tiny friend that I was going to get serious about getting healthy and losing weight. She suggested this great site where I could find not only diet and exercise plans, but a community that was amazingly supportive. I got online that night and was instantly hooked. I loved everything about it. I put myself out there when I never had before. I was me.
I met some really great supportive people here, but none like Karen. She was all over Spark. She was positive, she was making progress, she was encouraging and she was always talking about her PCOS. We struck up many conversations, compared tips and shared bits of our lives. I asked her what was this PCOS she is struggling with. When she told me I was floored. I knew I had PCOS. I was a textbook case. A syndrome I had never heard of completely explained all the weird, seemingly unrelated problems I was suffering with. Unexplained weight gain. Extreme difficulty losing said weight. Plus my hair was thinning and falling out. My face looked like a teenager. I was growing random hairs out of my chin. Most concerning.... I was only having 3 or 4 periods a year. I made an appointment immediately with the doctor who sent me to a specialist, who suggested another specialist, who was a fertility doctor that seemed way out of his element. No one seemed to know how to treat me or even want to treat me. Finally my gynecologist put me on metformin and suggested another specialist her sister was seeing. I did alot of my own research in those days... most of it on Sparkpeople forums and teams, reading posts of others out there with the same problems.
Armed with all this new info and the relief of knowing there was a problem and I wasn't just crazy, I hit the gym and and changed my diet. The metformin was helping me lose weight (much slower than I would have liked but still losing!!) along with my new lifestyle. I had put my baby dreams to rest for the time being because I knew infertility was a major issue with PCOS and that was most likely the problem with our conceiving. I figured I needed to focus on getting healthy first and any fertility issues would take care of themselves once I had the PCOS under control.
One month after starting the metformin, I had a period. Then I didn't have another. I was nauseous. I was tired. And mostly I was so discouraged. I was sure that with diet and exercise and the metformin, I was going to get my PCOS under control. And now I was miserable. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And then my appointment with the specialist my gyno suggested finally came through. The doc mainly just addressed my concerns and gave me dose of provera to "get things started" before we further treated my PCOS. But things never "got started." Turns out I was pregnant and had no clue. 17 weeks to be exact. Within the first month of starting the metformin we had conceived. I was shocked. All of my obvious pregnancy symptoms I had just chalked up to side effects of the metformin. Karen my old spark buddy (we still communicate today) will never completely understand what she did for me all that time ago when she took the time to talk to me. She changed my life. And I never would have met her without the Spark.
I had a normal pregnancy although I was classified as high risk. My beautiful boy was born healthy and I was on cloud 9. The first months of motherhood were tiring and I was understandably not focused on my health, but I felt better than I had in years and the pounds were still coming off.
That was a little over 3 years ago. We just found out our beautiful boy is autistic. Over the past three years, my weight and my health have fallen lower and lower on my priority list and the pounds have crept back on because caring for Dominic had grown steadily more difficult and distressing as we realized he may have special needs. Today I have come to the conclusion that my health needs to be even more of a priority because of Dom's special needs. I need to be healthy for the long days, the therapies, the doctor appointments, and the future. We are hopeful that our son will someday be a functioning part of society. I need to be at my best to ensure that. The Spark helped me and motivated me so much in the past and I am hoping it will but the Spark back in my life again.
Blogging helped keep me motivated in my early days with Sparkpeople. As painful as it is for me to blog about my son's issues (I still have trouble even discussing it with my family - too soon I think), I am hoping it will be therapeutic in a way. I'll be letting it out and that will in turn help me to get out there and start getting healthy again.