Thursday, January 19, 2012
I am to the point that I cannot stand to be in the same house with this man.... he KNOWS I am committed to doing better about food and losing weight so what does he do? He brings home Little Caesars, no problem, I have a Smart Ones pepperoni pizza in the freezer and I will just eat that. Nope, he took it to work and ate it. He has been having slim fast shakes for breakfast WITH his breakfast! He eats two or more lean cuisines or smart ones for lunch each day, sometimes eats dinner out and still comes home to graze. He complains he isn't losing weight despite eating all this diet food but he is eating double portions. Today I caught him with two servings of a Smart Ones breakfast quesadilla in the microwave. He claimed he made the 2nd one for me but he had already hidden the box by the time I got downstairs so I know that isn't true.
He no longer helps out around the house or with the children at all. I got up a little late this morning because I was sore and tired from being up late and my foot being messed up still. He got himself ready, woke the kids, but didn't get any of them clothes to wear or bother feeding them. Why you ask? Because he is selfish and only thinks of himself. I am tired of this behavior! He had a fit because I asked him to take me to the store this evening because I didn't want to go alone and I hoped we could talk while we were out of the house with no kids with us. He got angry because we spent $100 at the store, but we bought things we needed around the house and birthday presents for the twins, plus we bought him $15 worth of slimfasts and because he was too lazy to stop at Sams to get trash bags I had to buy them here in town for more than I pay at Sams. He is angry all the time and when he is angry he gets quiet and stops talking to me. I can't take it. He barely talks to me now and he NEVER touches me. Okay I know this is personal, but he has ED issues. The medication he was taking for that was working but our insurance does not cover it and they are very expensive. I picked up new medication the dr prescribed which is even more expensive for less pills and he hasn't even mentioned trying it. Not that I want to because the idea of becoming aroused only to be left unhappy with the outcome is unappealing. I am a very sexual person, he knew this before we ever became a couple and he barely touches me. There is no forplay, no kissing, not even brief sex anymore and I am so lonely I want to cry. He acts as though sleeping with me is work and he is always too tired to do any more of that. I am to the point where I can't take this anymore.