Facing Fear (11): Attacking the REAL Problem
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
I've noticed that I tend to blame a lot of my problems on things that happened in my childhood. Mind you, I'm not as young as I used to be, so my childhood was kind of a long time ago!
I'm trained as a research psychologist, so I'm completely aware that many of our thought patterns (whether conscious or unconscious!) were formed in childhood. I'm also aware that there are certain behavior patterns associated with having to take on too much responsibility at an early age (If you are also a child of a single parent, you are probably nodding vigorously right now!). I agree that it's important to develop enough self-awareness to know when you're falling into those patterns.
BUT WE CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST, CAN WE??
My fear #11 is admitting to myself that this is who I am. I will probably always take on more responsibility than I can handle, push myself to put a little more energy into being "perfect" than I should, and have difficulty saying "no" to people. And, predictably, I will probably always let my tendencies create some stress in my life. I can - and will - work toward being less of a perfectionist, but I wouldn't be me if I weren't at least a little 'Type A'!
THE GOOD NEWS is that I don't have to let these tendencies drive me to eat!!
Sometimes, I think that I can "solve" my weight problems by just changing my personality, or unlearning habits that have taken me a lifetime to learn. HONESTLY? That's not going to happen. BUT I CAN learn to do something else besides eat when I stress myself out (again!).
I can exercise, read, write, draw, listen to music, call a friend, or walk the dog. I can sing, dance, shop, shower, or shine my shoes. There are SO MANY things I can do besides eat. It makes MUCH MORE sense to me to focus on things I can do rather than try to change the past.