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Day 14/15....V day stands for VERY disappointing

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

so here I sit, having just given myself a manicure and pedicure...waiting for my nails to dry before I just give up on today and go to bed already.
Started out today with big plans to watch a movie while at home alone, work out, return movies, take my broken laptop in to get it's death called by the coroner (...aka computer expert), make dinner and enjoy it with my children. I ended up taking the laptop in, it needs a new hard drive (oh yay) and is pretty much a complete loss financially unless Dell is nice enough to cover it and put one in for me (fingers so crossed on that one)..then I bought 5 long stem roses from the florist and two bags of assorted candies and delivered one red rose to my daughter at the high school, one yellow rose with red tips to my daughter at the middle school and dropped one another just like it off for her best friend (aka my other kid), then I brought the candies for my sons home and stored them in the fridge with my youngest daughter's pink rose. Then I made the 46 mile drive to my husband's place of employment to take him out to lunch, deliver his red rose and the card I bought him that fits our relationship to a tee... I took him to Applebees, we had lunch, I dropped him back off at work, and I drove to Sams club to get some things we needed around the house since dh never has the time or desire to do that errand for me. I got back into the town we live in, ran to the bank, then home to unload my groceries and off to my new Tuesday weight watchers meeting. I think I like the Tuesday meetings because it is so much closer to my home, plus the time is better for me, but I love Saturday meetings because it's early in the day and I don't eat before my weigh in, and the group is smaller so I feel like it's more intimate. OH well, the change has been made....
after my meeting I ran to the pharmacy, picked up my new Miche shell I ordered months ago that was finally in stock, I have spent enough money in that store to earn a free pair of earrings! yippee! The purse shell, new handles, and earrings were the only gifts I got today. Depressing that after almost 10 years of marriage I didn't even rate a card. Yes, I did get a new pillow last week, but I also ordered him an mp3 player King James version of both the Old Testament and New Testament on it for him AND still drove 2 hours out of my way, with a rose, and 2 cards to take him out to lunch. I just want to sit here and cry over how pathetic I feel that I let him make me feel like crap because he couldn't stop at a dollar store and pick me up a dang card. I even told him a few places that were on his way home where he could have gotten one!
yea, so that was my wonderful day...did I mention fighting with my oldest daughter for over an hour because she feels the need to be so nosey she has to ask where I am and where I've been, why I've been there, why I bought this or that, and what i plan to do about my son's teeth...who is the adult here? PFFFFF

then to top everything else off (stop reading here if you don't like tmi) I asked my husband while standing in the kitchen tonight if he was horny...he looked me dead in the eye and said "no". I asked him why and he didn't really answer me. I don't know what is going on. My best friend asked if i think he has a girl friend, I know he doesn't. Then he asked if he has a boy friend....that would probably surprise me less if he had the time to have one. I don't know where we go from here because he doesn't touch me hardly at all anymore and frankly I miss sex. I think about the lack of affection and intimacy and I want to cry. It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't been there how much you want to be wanted and you get nothing in return. We have other issues in our marriage and this issue is huge and is pushing me past my breaking point.

okay, i've vented..i'm going to bed now.
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