Why eating always feels like cheating : (

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

I have been on a diet my whole adult life. Seriously, for as long as I can remember, I've been watching everything I eat - counting "net" carbs, counting calories, not eating anything white, eating only soup, eating only fruit, eating twice a day - then once a day, then every other day, not eating after 8 pm, Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, Optifast, Medifast, etc. You name the diet, I've been on it. And during the brief periods I wasn't strictly adhering to some diet regimen, I was binge eating out of control on anything and everything I could get my hands on and feeling so guilty afterward that I feverishly searched for some new diet plan that I could devote to that might work. This is the definition of disordered eating.


Now I am eating a plant-based, super healthy diet that allows me to eat fruits, vegetables, legumes and beans in unlimited amounts until I feel full. This means that I can literally stuff myself with huge bowls of berries, apples, and bananas for breakfast; a big bowl of lentil soup AND a huge romaine lettuce salad for lunch; and then another huge plate of spinach salad with veggies and a sweet potato for dinner. I always feel full...but then I always feel weirdly guilty because I associate this "full feeling" with binge eating. In the past, I only felt full after a binge.

I know that this plan is working because I've lost weight and feel good eating very healthy meals. But it seems too it's too good to be true and I might find out that my scale is broken or I'll get on the scale tomorrow and be back up 10 pounds suddenly. It's hard to relax and just enjoy good food without having to worry so much about the ramifications of eating.

I am grateful to God for answering my prayers and guiding me toward a way of eating that is healthy and that works for me. Now I need to figure out how to NOT to feel like I'm on a diet, and how NOT to feel guilty about food. Does this make sense?
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  • no profile photo CD11447306
    It's so good to read about your success with your new outlook on nourishment. It's not a "diet"'s your lifestyle now. And I see your fitness minutes increasing on my friends feed so looks like your lifestyle is finding a good balance. You have to be feeling good about all that!!!
    Have a great weekend Naima and fill it with good healthy choices!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    And thank you for all the positive support while I've been in New York this week. It really meant alot to me and helped me stay on track.
    3382 days ago
    I know how you feel trying so many different diets.

    It sounds like you got a handle on eating healthy now. Keep up the good work.
    3384 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11433668
    Patience Naima. It will come. Work on the full feeling--do you think you are eating too much? You are 'allowed' so you are eating past the point of fullness? Be mindful of the meal. Can you stop earlier? Why do you want to be so full? whats behind the 'fullness'. Do you like feeling like you have cheated? ( rebelled?) do you think that you wont get enough or that you wont be able to eat again ( past dieting behaviour)
    look at the behaviour, now that the food is something you can live with...forever I hope! what behaviours are 'old'?
    3384 days ago
    Isn't it emoticon !!!
    I can relate-I too have been on several plans and was very underweight-which is not healthy.
    So here's to your health!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3384 days ago
    yep, I get that. Guilty if I eat, guilty if I don't. It's one of the reasons I hate going out to eat. That is a very guilt-ridden thing for me. Can't enjoy it at all. I just don't understand people who can eat with out guilt.....

    Glad you are finding your way!!!!!!!
    3384 days ago
    Sounds like you found what works for you. You are eating real food and you don't feel deprived.

    Keep it up I see nothing to feel guilty about!!

    3385 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10713018
    Sounds great! Is there a particular plan you are following? Do share... I like the idea of not having to measure portions.

    3385 days ago
    I think that even if the scale did go back up you know you are treating your body well, giving it everything it wants/needs to be healthy, and that should give you comfort and peace.

    As for associating being full with binge eating...I am not sure how to approach that. Have you tried to journal why you may feel that way??

    You are doing GREAT. I am proud of you for sticking with it and happy it is working out so well for you.
    3385 days ago
    GLAD your finding your way with nutrition...I am finding mine too.
    I have done a lot of those same diet plans...but I haven't watched what I have eaten all my life...just over the past 15 years.
    I REFUSE to go on "another diet"...even though I recently started back following 1200 calorie menus.
    A diet to me is a temporary way of eating as a means to an end. The way I am eating CAN/WILL NEVER STOP.
    I don't feel guilty at all.
    What is great about it is the food is REALLY good, filling AND nutritious.
    THE BONUS is I am losing weight eating it!
    I love to EAT ALL THINGS and I don't believe mankind was meant to withhold what we eat from any food group but NOT to over indulge in any either.
    Keep sparking.
    3385 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/6/2012 11:55:27 AM
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