Monday, March 12, 2012

In 2010, my best friend died from Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) and I was so very lost without her. I was mad. My internal rebel was saying, "fleck off, you can't tell me what to eat or drink. I'm going to have whatever I want."

This rebellion caused me to gain over 20 pounds. It took me a year to realize this rebel inside was hurting me. And I know that not only would my friend be sad to see me in this state but I was coming to grips with the fact that, although no longer my friend's, I am my own caregiver. I was not practicing self care.

Now I am on a mission to take care of ME. I love so much in life and have held back because of my size. Sure I play ball, volunteer in the community, walk the dog and work around the yard and house. I am not a hermit. However, if you ask me how many social functions was I invited to over the last 12 months and how many did I attend, the answer would be 1.

I stay away from my friends, family and aquaintances because I am not comfortable at this size.

That is changing. I am changing.

I am here to reamin accountable, track ups & downs, be part of a healthy community, and take care of ME.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It's good to see you back, Molly. It's especially good to see you have noticed and realized you want to change some behaviors and what set it off. Take care of yourself and see you 'round!
    3421 days ago
  • HUGS2015
    It is so hard to get over the griving time, but now you are ready to get out there and live your life! Your friends love you for YOU and not your size. What is that old saying, "Fake it until you make it". Get out there and strech out of your comfort zone a little bit and then as the weight comes off and you reach goal you will be right out there in the thick of life, being you and loving it! Baby steps. You are worth it!
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    3421 days ago
    Now this makes me emoticon !!! YOU are worth it!
    3421 days ago
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    I'm glad to see you back, Mo, have missed you. It's a hard lesson to learn, finally learning to care for yourself, isn't it? I think a whole lot of us battle with that. But it's a new beginning, and a new start, and don't squander it away because you'll be so glad you did it, once it's all said and done. It's never a loss, Mo. God bless, sparky bud.
    3421 days ago
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    emoticon Glad to hear you bounced back! emoticon
    3422 days ago
    Very thrilled to hear that! Missing you on the WARRIORS!
    3422 days ago
    You can do it, Molly! It's tough but nothing worth getting comes easy. I know that in dealing with my mom's health I've heard alot of "I know you are going thru a rough time with your mom, but don't forget to take care of yourself." It's hard to know how to do that when you put yourself dead last on your to-do list, but it can be done. Exercise is a great stress reliever and it's something you can do for you. Food on the other hand, that's a tougher one. But you will get there, esp since you are learning you have to take care of yourself. Then you have so much more to give to others when you do that.
    3422 days ago
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