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Day 58.....he's cheating or at least he's planning to

Thursday, March 29, 2012

So I've suspected for awhile that HE has been pulling away a little. I am so upset I can't bring myself to confront him, tell him I love him, beg him to stay, tell him to go....I can't bring myself to admit I know what he's doing. Because of how we met I started to wonder if he wasn't putting himself out there again so I did a little snooping and sure enough I found at first one personal ad posted by him saying he is looking for someone to "see". Worst of all was I was not small when we got together and my weight has NEVER bothered him in the past but his ad specifically stated he wants someone average to thin. Then to add insult to injury he posted another ad, but then he deleted that ad and I thought maybe JUST maybe me sitting with him over dinner, holding his hand and asking him if he was happy, still wanted to be with me and him saying yes meant he had a change of heart. Then tonight I looked and the original ad is still there and a new ad is also there with a photo of his unmentionables! I want to curl up and die, I want to crawl into a hole and never come out. My mother is coming to town to stay with us tomorrow and I can't face telling her that this has blown up in my face completely...that I am destined to be miserable for the rest of my life because this man whom I love so utterly and completely obviously does not love me. I am sick, just sick...can't sleep, can't think, can't breath. I don't know how to tell him I know, how to move forward, how to end this because I obviously can't be with him while he's doing this...or can i? I haven't told him and I've known about the ad for a week now...but I didn't want to ruin HIS birthday! I am so lost............
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You must get over him being important. Right now you are trying not to hurt him. You can't possibly hurt him if he doesnt' care enough about you or respect you enough to tell you he wants out of the relationship. You are better than that and deserve better than that. I situation with my ex was different, and I knew life would be difficult after the divorce. Overnight one night, I literally became a single mother of 5 young children when I finally threw him out and had him arrested. Life was difficult to say the least. Fast forward a few years, and I am in a very loving relationship with a wonderful man who helps me and encourages me to be my best. Even last night when I was apologizing all over the place for not getting everything done and crashing and sleeping for about an hour yesterday, he said he couldn't believe how much I accomplish everyday with our large family, working full time, and going to school. He encouraged me to not push myself so hard and to take breaks so that I don't wear myself down. You deserve the best out of life - give it to yourself and don't let a man define you or hold you back. You don't need a man to give you a good life.

    I wish you the best of luck. You are in my prayers.
    3325 days ago
    Are you married or living together? No matter, you do not DESERVE to be treated this way. Obviously the man is attempting 'feathering another nest' before ending it with you. Sometimes called 'monkey barring'---hanging on to you, while grabbing onto another bar before letting you go.
    Living better is the best revenge. Pull yourself together, get back on your plan, get in some exercise, or a lot---this will make you tired and you'll be able to sleep better. You WILL get over this. You WILL go on with life. Yes it hurts. We've all been there, done that, got the scars to prove it. But it's NOT the end of the world. Love yourself, take care of yourself, because in the end, you are the only one that can take care of you.
    The dude ain't worth it!! :)

    3325 days ago
    You need to do what is right for *you*, and put yourself first, even if it means ruining his birthday. If his birthday is ruined, it's all his own fault for running those ads. Yes, it hurts when we find out that someone we love doesn't love us back (I was recently there myself) but you can and will be happy without him. Yes, it will hurt. Yes, you will cry. Yes, you will question yourself over and over. But in the end, you deserve so much more than a guy who doesn't treasure and respect you. Could you honestly be happy in a relationship where he has violated your trust like that? Could you ever trust him again?

    Even after my bf broke my heart and we ended things, I still wanted him back for several months. I missed him terribly and thought I could overlook our problems and be happy just by being with him. But now I realize that I wouldn't have been happy and it would have ended eventually anyway. I have found my workouts to be great ways to get him out of my system. I'm focusing on myself and feeling stronger and more confident every day and slowly leaving him in my past and don't want him in my future any more.

    I know it hurts. I know this probably isn't what you want to hear and it may seem harsh. But believe me, I know how much your heart is hurting right now. It will mend. Trust me and believe in yourself. {HUGS}
    3325 days ago
    I hope that you have the strength to deal with relationship,
    3325 days ago
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