I need a shoulder... or two... :(
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Everyone always tells me how strong I am. Under usual circumstances, I am a rock but today I am a mess. My dad is not doing so well - I took him for his pacemaker test yesterday in LA and they told me his heart stopped at 11am on Sunday :( It is dying. His cancer has spread to his bones as well, and he has been having a lot of pain.
This is just too much for me. I'm doing this all alone - moved him 500 miles down here to live close to me (we now live in the same apartment complex I've been managing). On top of that, I am the only one managing 169 units here - it's so overwhelming and lonely. Today, I cracked...
How do I keep going?
How do you mom's do it?
I am not a mom, and yet, I am suddenly taking care of my 91 year old dad who is almost like a child now. It's not really fair for a 40 year old. And my family won't help.
Tomorrow, I will buck up and figure something out, but today is my day to cry.
Sorry for the downer girls - I guess I need some shoulders to cry on.