Long Over Due Update...

Sunday, April 08, 2012

It has been a long while since I have updated many things in Sparkpeople and I apologize to all my precious friends that I have made in here. So I am writing to you today to give you a long over due update so you know what has been happening in our life here in Iowa. As you all know my husband has been suffering with his health now for the past 6 or 7 years. Well things have compounded as they found cancer in his liver a year ago this February. This diagnosis sent our world reeling into a frenzy of Oncologists, MRI's, Chemo and Radiation treatments and many trips to specialists over 3 hours driving time away. This sent my anxiety levels into an all time high and I just couldn't concentrate on anything much less weight loss. It became very hard to keep my wits about me and deal with a full time job, doctor appointments and maintain a healthy level of sanity over the past year and half. I gained back all my weight plus more and, on top of everything else going on, our gastroentrologist has informed me I have an existing health risk because of my morbid obesity that could become lethal. He explained that obese people are naturally a higher cancer risk then others but because the condition that my stomach is in has become a matter of not IF I get esophageal cancer but WHEN. He told me I needed to lose 150 pounds "NOW!!" and has not suggested but demanded I have bariatric surgery in the form of a gastric by-pass to get the weight off fast. I was shocked at his urgency and I was scared to death, in fact, I am still having a problem digesting all of this. I have been put on a 1200 calorie diet since January and must be monitored by a registered dietitcian as I have to loose some weight before surgery which seems a little ironic but it is for insurance purposes. I am complying with their wishes and sticking close to the diet and getting about 45 minutes of walking time in each day at work on my breaks.
Some days my anxiety levels are off the charts and I have more problems with reflux on those days. Last week I had it so bad at night like I always have had in the past before I started this diet, only this time it was like non other. I always aspirate the stomach acids when it comes up and this time it choked me down for over an hour in the middle of the night. Every time I tried to cough it out of my lungs it took my air away...I was literally struggling for my life. The whole reality of what my doctor told me in his office that day came flooding in and I knew it was a "do or die" situation. I have my last evaluation next month and if the insurance company allows this to be done I will be having surgery possibly by June or July. I know how many of you feel about gastric by-pass which was the same way I felt about it but at this point staying alive is my number one priority. I have to stay healthy to take care of my husband and to be there for my daughter and grandbabies. Life has been nothing short of being almost unbearable the past few years so I must do something for me this time. It has been all about my hubby and for my daughter who now is separated from her husband and soon will be filing for divorce...another facet I didn't go into that has caused much upheaval. Some days I feel like I am slowly drowning in a sea of unhappiness and anxiety. I keep telling myself I am strong and the Lord will carry me through and he has thus far. So I am now turning to my extended sparkpeople family for the support that you all have shown me over the time I have spent here. I feel good about making this my first blog back and I know it is nothing profound or supportive but I am desperately in need of help in any form I can get it at this point. Thank you again for listening and for letting me pour out my heart. I have NEVER forgotten a single one of you since my absence from here....how could I because I have met some of the best people on the planet here. I love you all very much!! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sweet doll, I did not see your blogs until today. I am so happy to see you back! We did have a few laughs back in the day.
    I am so sorry for all your troubles and will send positive thoughts and prayers your way. emoticon
    3330 days ago
    I know I'm late in replying but I didn't see your blog until yesterday. It's good to see you back on here! I wasn't sure if you would ever come back but kept hoping of course. I hope that the surgery goes well for you and that you get some relief from all that's been going on in your life.

    You know that your spark friends are here for you!

    3347 days ago
    I am also not a fan of bariatric surgery on the whole, but there is a time and place for everything. You need to take care of your health in any way you can and if this works for you, then that is what is best. I agree with Kim about the aftermath. My SIL and her daughter have both had the surgery and both have regained the weight (my niece has actually had it twice). I think that as long as you have the right attitude about it, things will be fine, and you certainly seem to be going in with the right attitude. I hope things turn around for you soon.
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    3347 days ago
    I'm so glad to see you back here! Remember, when you feel you're at rock bottom there's nowhere else to go but up. You know I've been pullin' and prayin' for you all along my sister. Hang on and remember I'm only a few clicks away. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3350 days ago
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    So happy to see you back on here and that you're keeping your wits about you. Your one of the most stongest person I know. There isn't anything that you can't handle.

    Keep us posted on your health and it's ok to seek a shoulder to lean on.

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    3356 days ago
    My sweet friend! I am so sorry you are having so much to deal with. I have nothing against bariatric surgery, esp. when it is life-threatening to not have it! And I have every confidence that you will do well with it with all you have learned in the last few years. I have known a couple of ladies who have had it done. One ignores what she should and should not put in her body and has gained back about 50 pounds and did not do any work with a nutritionist/ dietician after the surgery. The other lady worked very closely with a dietician for 1 or 2 years post op and has done very well! She has gained some, BUT she had 2 kids in 3 years!!! So, she's getting the little excess back off slowly but surely. It has done her a world of good!
    I'm praying you have all good things and that all goes well for you as well as your DH!
    3360 days ago
    Welcome back!

    I am sorry to read of all the stressors in your life and I hope that your DH is responding well to his treatments.

    One of people whose blogs I follow is TRACYZABELLE. She is having a bariatric procedure next week. Here is a link to one of her blogs where she gives some reasons why she is getting the surgery.


    There is a link in there to a site that has information on the type of surgery she is having. I think that if you contact her, she would have more information about her thoughts and reasons for having the surgery.

    I am one of those people who thinks that bariatric surgery is overused in this country, but I have been rethinking this since I saw information about a week ago that many people who get the surgery have improved control over their diabetes, even before they lose much weight and even if they regain it.

    I also feel that when circumstances are such that health or life is in danger, that surgery can be the answer. That seems to be true in your case.

    I wish you luck and I hope that this will help you get back to a healthier life.

    I look forward to reading your blogs more frequently with updates on how everything is going,


    3361 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/8/2012 11:45:56 PM
    What a blessing to have a dear friend back amongst us!! I have missed you but knew it must be something major. I am not doing nearly as much on SP as I used to--life has gotten pretty busy. I have had some minor stressors as well but nothing like you--I am PRAYING FOR YOU!! I have 2 different friends who have had gastric bypass and both have (after about 10 years) gained back all the weight or more. The problem is, when you go in for the surgery, they don't tell you that it is NOT a cure! So be sure that you keep working on the root issue of the reason you gain weight and not just depend on the surgery or you will find it difficult to keep it off. I am sorry for all that you are dealing with but God is faithful. Welcome home! We missed you!

    3361 days ago
    I was so happy to see your blog! Yes, it has been quite a while and I'm glad you stopped in and let us know what is going on. I'm sending you a hugs across the internet to welcome you back. emoticon emoticon

    I am sorry that you are going through so many things. I will remember you and your family in prayer as you're navigating through these rough waters with so much going on. I'm praying for your strength and sending wishes for peace in your heart, soul, and mind. emoticon
    3361 days ago
    I saw your name and my first thought was, "OH MY GOSH!!"

    I learned a powerful lesson here over the past month. There's a lot of generous, caring and loving people here who will support you, pray for you and be your friend. You've got a lot going on in your world and we will all be here to help you in whatever way we can.

    You're taking a powerful step forward to regaining your best possible life. I'm looking forward to sharing in all the good things that are ahead for you!!

    3361 days ago
    My name is Jem and I live in Iowa too and I hope things get better. I don't know where you live in Iowa but I'm in Waterloo if you need a support person in your community and you live close to Waterloo, I'm here.

    Anyway, you've had a lot going on lately. Do you have a wellness program associated with your full time job. Perhaps you could take some time for you and get some exercises in for you and take care of yourself. Perhaps you could talk with a wellness instructor about what your physician has ordered. That might help with your stress.

    Anyway, Good Luck!!!!!!

    3362 days ago
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