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My Mom

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Ok I will admit I am a little baffled!

My son from Arizona surprised me and flew in for a few days. He is leaving today and will only be able to stop by for about 3 hours. I called my mom to tell her and she said she's sorry she is going to the senior center for lunch and card playing!?!? Really???

I mean I know she has a life and all that as I do, but your grandson is only here for 3 hours? and you're not able to forgo eating a 3 dollar lunch and cards with other seniors?!?!?

I asked her how much she paid for the luncheon, when she told me just 3 dollars ...... I said to her it is not like you can't go out with the girls and have lunch another time......her response well I'm sorry........

Well..... This really hurts me! I rearrange my schedule a lot when she askes me to do things for her when she needs help. It is not like she is controlling or very needy at all. She's just my mother and there is no one else.

I'm speechless...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry .. I'm laughing at this one! What kind of relationship do they have with each other?

    Maybe there wasn't enough time for her to change her date .. nevermind about this because you can't change folks and I'm am SO learning this quite quickly!

    3262 days ago
    thanks everyone for your kind thoughtful responses to my blog. My Son got home safe and I told him not to go out of his way as I had to be at work during his short visit and I'd only have seen him for maybe a 1/2 an hour.

    Still a little disconcerted about the whole thing... but I'll get over it. emoticon
    3300 days ago
    I hope you enjoyed your visit.
    3300 days ago
    While you may be understandably disappointed, I wouldn't try to read too much into mom may simply be concerned that if she doesn't show up for cards with the girls, she will be replaced by someone else...& that the girls will like the new person better. should just go & enjoy your time with your mom has to live with her decision. And being angry at her will only taint your time with your son.
    3301 days ago
    My husband's dad has been ignoring our children & grandchildren ever since his wife passed away. He doesn't act like much of a father either. It's like he forgot how to be Dad/Grandpa. He just wants to be Fred.
    3302 days ago
    I would be speechless and hurt as well. However, I do believe there is some merit to the idea that there is more going on with this situation than meets the eye. Regardless, though, YOU have to take on the frame of mind that YOU are going to enjoy his company for those 3 hrs. and that's that. It's really your Mom's loss. Honestly.
    3302 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12132753

    I hear that you're shocked and sad about your mom's decision.
    Her loss.

    3302 days ago
  • JUSTA123
    Wow, I must admit I'm not sirprised, living in the land of seniors I have seen much strange behavior. For me family is more important then friends and a family member who is only going to be here 3hours would definately make me change my plans. I However am a horse of a different color, I was raised with family coming first and when I married my husband and I raised our children the same way, it has paid off, my grown children and grandchildren are always around for each other, and if they can't be they are available for moral support. I hope you enjoyed your time with your son, and perhaps a disscussion is in line with mom. emoticon
    3302 days ago
    I agree with Nana.

    I also do not like to hold grudges or do paybacks. Life is too short for that.

    Sorry that your mother has chosen to be with her friends rather than her grandson. Sorry that you are disappointed. I understand that you would love for her to be there for the visit. Maybe next time your son will surprise her with a visit.

    Just shine your love to your family. That is all we can do.

    Best wishes! Have a great time with your son.


    3302 days ago
  • MOMMY445
    i'm also speechless!
    3302 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9948086
    I am no psychologist or even close, but I am guessing there is more to it. What type of relationship does your Mother have with your Son? She might be reacting to the fact that he has not made an effort to personally include her in his plans while he is in the area. I have to tell you Family relationships can be some of the most trying. I am very independent, as is your Mom and I don't take it well when others add me as a side car. But I always try to remember that communication and inclusion is a two way street. So when I get bent out of shape I try to flip the situation to make sure I am not only seeing my side of the coin.
    3302 days ago
    I am speechless too! I would have been right there for the 3 hours your son came to visit! Right now I am going through a thing with my own daughter - who is 'too busy' for me. We have get togethers on Saturdays and she has canceled 3 Saturdays in a row. One cancel was because the temp was only 45 and light rain - she has a SUV and lives 4 miles away! I haven't seen her since March 10th. Go figure! So, it is not only you - family can and will be hurtful. Try to let it go 'in your own' mind and then - not be available when she needs you next time - period! If my daughter ever calls again, I plan to hang up...
    3302 days ago
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