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I am frustrated and a bit down...is this journey an impossible one?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

emoticonI feel discouraged and this is probably just the exhaustion talking...but I feel like I will never win this battle and lose weight. I had the same issues 20 lbs ago (I have gained 20 lbs due to the pregnancy) and now my body is just a mess. I was up a half pound this morning. Why...geeze...lack of sleep and eating oreos and cashews. I snack when I get home from work because I am tired and hungry.

Right now, work is insane. I am in charge of the science fair and it is am impossible task. I have to bring work home and go to bed late. I worked out at 9:30 pm on Monday and tried to do school work at 11pm but was too tired. I was then cranky on Tuesday. emoticon I did exercise this week and really made an effort but with so much pressure and school work, it was actually counterproductive.

My DH is working longer hours and I have the full responsibility of the two kids. I am tired. I never, ever get down time that does not involve sleeping or feeding a baby. I am just tired. emoticon

I started this BLC challenge with high hopes and feel like I am missing it since I can't even get online the way I would wish too. I do feel encouraged being part of the team but want to do more...but there is honestly no time at all.

This is just a vent...I know it will pass. I really need a good cry. emoticon

I did cut up chicken for lunch tomorrow and added some beans too (baked beans but beans all the same). I will not give up but tonight...I want something bad to eat...and there is NOTHING in the house! emoticon

I will try to get some sleep and drink my water. That is partly in my control.

Hanging in there as all Pixies do...even if I am hanging upside down from a branch. emoticon
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  • no profile photo CD12358794
    It's hard when there is a lot going on, especially a new baby! Don't worry about doing a complete overhaul on your life just take small steps once at a time. I hope you can get some rest because sometimes that is just what you need. Don't be afraid to ask for help whither it is from friends or family, don't feel like you can't. Take care of yourself!
    3214 days ago
    hope you get to have some rest soon..you may have to carve out some time for it!

    3222 days ago
    Some very good encouragers here for you girl. I hope you are feeling better today. You know in your heart this is not impossible. ♥
    3248 days ago
    Oh my, I sound EXACTLY like this since we had our second child (she's almost a year and our son is almost 3). I have three quick pieces of advice:

    #1 -- Recognize that you are juggling a LOT right now and give yourself a pass on getting everything done every day. Some days, when I fall into be exhausted and thinking I'm a failure because I didn't get everything done, I just remind myself that I did my best and -- on the whole -- it was enough. That is, if my kids were loved, nourished and tended to, my husband and I enjoyed eachother and I kept most of my professional balls in the air, well -- that's good enough -- it has to be.

    #2 -- Try somehow to eke out 30 minutes for yourself -- wherever you can get it. Go for a walk on your work lunchtime -- get your husband to handle the kiddos for 30 minutes while you soak in a bath -- whatever you can do for a little time for yourself. Sometimes I use my 30 minutes just to read a magazine uninterrupted! Schedule that time --- you'll look forward to it and that will pull you through the hectic times.

    #3 -- The weight loss will come, but it's not the end of the world if you have to adjust your goals. I know it's important, but sometimes other things are moreso. Remember that, if you do the best you can with the circumstances you're in, then that's all you can ask -- the beauty is that every day we get another 24 hours to do it better.

    Good luck!!
    3251 days ago
    I'm so sorry you are feeling blue. I've been a bit down myself this week too. It can be overwhelming when you look at everything you have to do. Progress not perfection is always good advice. And a good choice is a good choice whether it is picking grapes over and oreo or working out for 2 hours, it is a victory. I try and remember that during these stressful times taking care of myself is important. Good food fuels the body and exercise creates brain chemicals that ward of the blue and more energy.

    I'm glad you vented. Sometimes just talking about it helps. You are right it will pass. You can do this! emoticon
    3251 days ago
    I know how discouraging it gets, but don't give up!!! You sound like you have a plan. Some weeks I find I gain for so reason at all and then the next week I will lose more. Just hang in there! Those busy weeks at work don't help either, but you sound like you are doing the very best you can! Summer vacation should be here soon :)
    3252 days ago
    Nancy and Lori both had some great words of wisdom. Try to just fit exercise in 10 minute segments or see what you can do while you are making dinner. Making you do leg lifts or squats while you are stirring/chopping. It may not count as technical exercise but walk faster in your house. Pretend like there is a fire in the other room and you have to get there as quickly as possible. Just do what you can.
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    3252 days ago
    Nancy said it perfectly. Christie, you can't compare yourself to others; no one else is in your particular set of circumstances. What you can do is set goals for YOU. If the snacking is getting in the way, then limit yourself to snacking on something healthier than oreos and cashews. Look at it like a teacher. You don't have to go from below basic to goal in 12 weeks. You just have to move a little in the right direction. If you set the bar so high that you can't possibly meet it, it's going to end in frustration and you're going to give up. So instead of oreos and cashews, you snack on yogurt and fruit when you walk in the door. Victory.

    Same goes for exercise. You're not going to keep up with these people who can devote hours every day to fitness. So maybe you take a 10 minute walk around the block with the kids. Then the next week it's 15. Victory.

    You can't do it all RIGHT NOW, and that's OK. Someday you will be able to. I promise.

    3253 days ago
    Make a list of your "dream Snacks" - fruit, veggies, whatever, and then make sure you purchase a few every week and PREP them. Even frozen fruit and yogurt blended into a smoothie. Eating healthy will make you feel good about yourself. And plan a reward for after this science fair - some non-food treat, like a new pair of shoes or a day at the bookstore or going to a movie. You deserve it!
    3254 days ago
    Hang in there Christie - remeber it is always darkest before it is light!
    3254 days ago
    I am so sorry you are feeling so discouraged! emoticon . Oh boy do you need some serious sleep...way easier said than done though! I remember being in the same boat. My girls are 14 & 11 now so things are much different. When they were little, my husband either worked nights or rotated shifts and he was never home. I did everything by myself and it was so hard working outside the home too!

    Just remember you don't have to be Super Mom (seriously, we can't do it all). It's trial and error but you will figure it out and don't be afraid to say no or enlist help. This is the season you are in but it does change and things will get better! Stay strong, take a deep breath and know that you are not alone (most importantly enjoy those babies, they don't stay small very long!) emoticon
    3255 days ago
    Life does get easier when your children get older. I can hardly remember how it was to work full time and care for 2 kids in school. My husband helped out, but he worked full time, too. I was always heavy after my kids were born, but a couple years ago I joined SP and lost 70 pounds. I've put 7 of those pounds back on. I guess this will be a life long battle, but I'm hanging in there. You can do it, too! Have a good cry if you need to, then get back to your plan. It will be a great example for your kids to demonstrate healthy eating and activity. The weight loss will come in it's own time.
    3255 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7573527
    Vent all you like. I only have one child, well 2 if you count the almost 19 year old, which lately takes more of my time than the 4 year old, but one is self sufficient (at least part of the time).

    I finally made the time to exercise by getting out of bed earlier in the morning than I would like, but I also get it out of the way before I start my day. My problem is the food issue. I weigh less then I did when I got pregnant, but I still have a long way to go.

    We are all battling in some way or another. I think the first thing you need to do is relax, ask for help where you can, is there a family member, close neighbor, or teenager near by that you would trust to watch the children for a hour for you to go take a walk in the evening? Can someone help you with the science fair?

    Sometimes the hardest thing to do is ask for help. You cannot do it all, sometimes you just need to tell everyone "no" and take a nice long shower or a nice long walk (then the shower) and get some sleep.

    I can tell when I'm sleep deprived, no matter how much I work-out and eat well the weight remains the same. Also give yourself a little break, your baby is not that old, take some time and the weight will come off. I would not give you the same advice if your children were 15 and 17.
    3255 days ago
  • *MADGE*
    Give yourself a lot of grace! You have a LOT going on! Do what you can and don't focus on what you can't do right now.
    3255 days ago
    You've had a lot of great comments so far, so let me just say:

    I believe in you! You CAN do this!
    3255 days ago
    I only have one baby, so i cant really say i know how you feel, as i'm sure it is MUCH more difficult with two. the thing that really got me through was my daily 1/2 hour HOT showers every night. When my hubby would come home, he'd either take the baby, or i'd go after she would go to bed (she's 7 months) and it was just that 30 mins of quiet and relaxation, time to myself, ect that got me through most days.

    Hope with the school year ending you can find some peace soon emoticon
    3255 days ago
    It's so easy to compare ourselves to others who are "doing it." It seems these people can do everything... raise a family, work at a job, lose weight, volunteer on 10,000 committees. But you know what? You can only do what you can do. Trust me, girlfriend, I know these things.

    Set your own bar. Do what you can. Don't expect more. If all you can do right now is plan your meals & log your nutrition, do that. When life settles down, you can add more. Don't be intimidated by the challenges. Do what you can. Don't try to be top Pixie, try to be top Christie.

    This is all about baby steps. As the baby starts to take steps, so can you. My slogan, as every Pixie well knows by now is: "Do the best you can with what you have." The thing is, you aren't putting on tons of weight. Think about what your w/i's would be like if you weren't doing anything! If all you're managing to do right now is maintain, at least you're not gaining, right??

    I understand busy life. Just take a deep breath. You are precious. Stop beating yourself up, and find something, anything, to celebrate. Chin up, Pixie, and take a step forward, even if it's a little one. (No one's judging you but you)
    3256 days ago
  • LUCYLU22
    You have got some great advice here already, so I will just send emoticon ! Venting can be very helpful to not keep those feeling bottled up. We are here to support and encourage, and we have broad shoulders to cry on!
    3256 days ago
  • MJK0430
    emoticon Can you plan some extra naps in this weekend? It sounds as if you are simply exhausted and you need some much needed rest. If I could only do one thing for a healthier me, it would be eating more unprocessed foods, lots of raw fruits and veggies. Hang in there, we are here to support you.
    3256 days ago
    I'm sorry to hear your struggling so much, but very thankful you shared a weak moment with everyone! Once those feelings are out in the open they're much eaiser to start breaking down into smaller pieces and finding solutions! Even if the solutions you find seem very small, all those little things become BIG when grouped together!

    If your DH is working longer hours and you're picking up the slack during the day, any way he can give you 20 minutes of time where he takes care of chores, or the kids in the evening so you can do something for YOU? Even if the time is spent gathering your thoughts for the coming day, it's time well spent!

    In addition to the other suggestions here, what about "taking advantage" of some time! When you take a bathroom break, take an extra 30 seconds to a minute to do some "bathroom exercises"! Do some calf raises while you're washing dishes! There are opportunities for little things that we sometimes can't see when overwhelmed!

    I hope the suggestions and outreach of support here will help you to find a little peace and get through this tough time! HUGS!
    3256 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6046191
    Wow! You have A LOT going on!!!

    I wonder if you had some cashews portioned out to eat on the way home if that might help? then you get a snack but aren't crazy hungry when you get home.

    This journey is one that can be madening, but if you persist each day you will have what you want. You are making great choices by exercising!

    You can do this!!!!!
    3256 days ago
    Just do what you can, and try not to worry about the rest. We're here to listen and support any time you need to vent. You can do it! emoticon
    3256 days ago
    Sometimes life gets rough... just ride it out. It won't be like this forever.
    I read this article today and I printed it for a friend who recently had a baby. She teaches and is also doing her masters, and is having difficulty making time for herself and exercise. Maybe it will help you.

    This journey is not impossible. Just take your time. Don't expect too much of yourself, especially now that things are hectic. That being said, don't throw your hands in the air either. Watch what you eat, take vitamins, use a lot of water allow for some splurges every once in a while and get your rest. You don't have to exercise for an hour for it to count. Ten minutes can still make a difference.

    Most importantly, love yourself.
    3256 days ago
    Roundtownmom took the words out of my mouth. It is important to pick one small thing that you can manage and concentrate on that. Keeping something besides cashew and oreos would be one thing you can change and control. Even dry roasted almonds would be better than cashews. Baby carrots instead of oreos.

    Just one thing...just one...do that!

    Pixie wings wrapping around you and a shoulder to cry on...go ahead...it is alright! Also next time you go to the Dr. ask about post partum depression, wouldn't hurt!

    Jo Ann
    3256 days ago
    You have gotten some great advice already, so I'm going to pull out my favorite parts...

    You're being too hard on yourself- you're in a very busy season right now and need to realize that what others can do in a day might not be feasible for you...think about it like your students...what is success to one person might not be success for another. You have to differentiate instruction to best meet your needs right now!

    I love the advice about choosing one thing to work on each week. Maybe it's 8 oz water/day, 15 minutes exercise, etc...choose just one thing to work on and once you master that, move on and add something else.

    It can be done- I absolutely promise you. I've lost 114 total pounds and it was by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but it's definitely possible. When you're at a crossroads like this, you can keep moving forward or you can give up and quit. I know you're not a quitter!

    Also remember that summer vacation is almost here :)
    3256 days ago
    I agree with whats already been said. Take baby steps! Pick a a habit and focus on that one thing that day. The next day, either work on the same habit or pick a different one to concetrate on. You have not lost the battle, because that only happens when we give up and you aren't giving up. You have a whole flock of Pixies that want to support you!! We would take away some of your burden if we could! emoticon
    3256 days ago
  • DEE797
    Do try not to be so hard on yourself. You have a lot going on right now. Best way is to take things "one at a time". Just remember you need "ME TIME", even if it's just 5 minutes to collect your thoughts. Wishing you success on your journey! emoticon
    3256 days ago
    You have a lot on your plate. Of course you're tired if you're working AND caring for the kids on your own.

    Take a moment and list some things you would like to happen, like
    Drink 8 glasses of water each day
    Eat 5 freggies each day
    Exercise for 20 min each day
    And whatever else is on your list. Take one at a time and concentrate on that for a few days. Then take the next thing. Etc. Then add a couple together. You get the picture. Do what you can do.

    One thing I might do for the time being, is get the things that cause you trouble like the Oreos and cashews, out of your house. Why tempt yourself? Buy some fruit or veggies, have them cut up and ready for snacking.

    Each day, think about what you're going to do TODAY. Don't worry about the long haul, that can be overwhelming. emoticon emoticon
    3256 days ago
    emoticon emoticon And more emoticon

    I am sorry life is so difficult right now. I think life is cyclical and sometimes we just need to hold on for the upswing. It will get better!

    Kudos to you for doing what you can and maintaining control on what you can!

    Hang in there!
    3256 days ago
    First of all, with all you have on your plate you have a right to be tired!

    The BLC teams are meant to help you look at what it is you are doing right, what it is you are doing wrong, challenge those things that are stopping you, and support you as you revise the road you are on. Yes, it's a challenge......... but what it's meant to do is help you challenge YOURSELF. You are doing that.......but in doing so, you are looking at what lies at the end of a long journey and thinking "How in the world am I ever going to get there with all these obstacles ahead of me??" and not looking at the obstacles and thinking, " This journey has to start somewhere, sometime. Which obstacle can I realistically tackle NOW?"

    One. Thing. At. A. Time.

    Pick the thing that challenges you most. You are lumping it all in together to "time". Find ONE THING that you can change. ONE THING that you can do to change what it is you are doing. Cashews and Oreos? Why not keep healthier snacking stuff around?....... Raw veggies that are crunchy and sweet help. Heck - sugar free GUM helps!

    One. Thing. At. A. Time.

    Yes, it's doable. Do NOT give up. Do NOT make the mistakes I made at your age only to wind up at MY age still kicking yourself in the pants.

    One. Thing. At. A. Time.

    And all of us in this challenge - Pixie, Warrior - whatever - will help you along the way.

    Be kinder to that lady in the mirror!!! Tell her how awesome she is......because she is!

    Hang in there...........................

    3256 days ago
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