This Is Enough, I Can't Hold It Anymore
Saturday, June 02, 2012
I am having a very rought time with Noel, my husband. He retired yesterday,and I did not knew anything. He even had a good bye party at his office, and I did not knew anything about it. He told me everything about it, this mornong, after breakfast. I was in chock. Where did all this 35 years of marriage went? Where had his trust, in me, gone? Does he really care about me?
I feel Noel does not care about me, and he does not value me. I feel he does not care about our marraige, nor value it. What he did, regarding retirment, he did it, on his own, without communicating it to me, nor consulting it with me. This atitude of him shows me that we are not a couple any longer. Can you beleive it? Yesterday I had Medical Insurrance, today I do not. Yesterday was his last day at work, so we will not have any benefits any longer and I did not know about it. Can you beleive it?
We do not have any IRA, nor retirement savings, he will only get a monthly payment, that will be half his regular salary, and we are supposed to live on that amount. When I complain, this morning, he only answered, "you can go back to work, I just worked enought for you." This is not a marriage any more, and I am very, very very unhappy.
I talked to my mom and my sister, at noon. They were in chock, too. They both understood my feelings and they agree with me, that this was a very unfair attitude from Noel's side. I, also talked to Angelica, my youngest daughter and she understands my feelings as wells. So, in this regard I do not feel so lonely.
After talking with them, I talked to a recently divorced friend and she heard me and she was very upset with Noel's attitude. I got her lawyer phone number and I made an appointment for Tuesday. I will be working the Education Department situation out, with him, but I am also filing for divorce. I can not live with Noel any longer. I feel betrayed as if I were betrayed with another woman. I never know what to expect from him cause he does not include me in his plans.. There are not ours plans anymore, there is only his plans. I do not count anymore. Enough is enough and Noel does not take me seriously. I feel devaluated and mistreated.
I am so sorry to be venting this situation with you all, my Spark community friends, but I need to do so, cause I do not want to eat over it. I need understanding and support, and I am asking it from you all, please. I am a little scare, but I feel strong enough to face whatever and fight it out victoriously because of me, because of my health and because of my dignity.
I will be anxiously looking forward your replay, cause this is really tuff , intense and a lonely situation. Thank you for stoping by and for taking the time to read and share this blog with me.