So This is Onderland!!!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

For a long time, I have watched other people post and celebrate and blog about crossing into Onderland territory. I wondered what it would feel like when (and if) I ever got there.

Well, I am here now! And I have to say, I wasn't expecting such a wide mix of emotions. Pride, excitement, joy... All those I expected. But regret? Sadness? Shame? Where did they come from???

I have to believe that those negative emotions are a lie. They do nothing to help me and will ultimately hinder me if I accept and own those emotions.

I have been part of Spark, off and on, for several years. I regret that it took me so long to get here. But then I realize that life hasn't been easy since I started Spark. There have been health issues, surgeries, bankruptcy, we moved three times, struggled with finances, and dealth with family issues. For the first time in a long time, I have had the time and energy to focus 100% on me and my goals. Regret over time lost isn't going to help me move forward.

Shame. What a lie that is. Shame wants me to feel embarrased that I just lost enough weight to come in under 200 lbs. Shame wants me to feel inferior compared to other people, and to be embarrassed to stand next to my husband. What a life killer shame is! And shame always wants to bring his friend, Sadness, along to any situation. They are like the dynamic duo of destruction. Where one is, you will always find the other. They desire nothing more than to simply keep me stuck in one place.

I realized that it's my choice. I can either choose to entertain regret, shame and sadness, or I can choose to be joyful, excited and proud of my efforts. I have worked hard. I have made a lot of breakthroughs over the past 9 weeks of the BLC. I have changed thought patterns, broken bad habits, formed new healthy habits, and have felt a freedom and joy in my weightloss journey that I didn't have before.

THIS is it! THIS is what it feels like to set goals, work hard to achieve them, and revel in your success. And I have to tell you friends, it feels really damn good!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Congrats Pixie!!
    So awesome!!!
    3069 days ago
    Congrats! I am so excited for you reaching onederland! Love your newest pic! Beautiful!
    3069 days ago
    emoticon I'm glad you are not letting those negative emotions take control and steal what is some very deserved thunder! You are doing a fantastic job and the journey is not over! Trust me - even when you get to that magical number you are looking for, the journey continues and it is a wonderful, fullfilling journey, so embrace those positive emotions! emoticon
    3073 days ago
    Congratulations! Celebrate and enjoy all of those positive emotions! What a great accomplishment. (And I love the pink toes, too.) emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3073 days ago
    I'm leaving my emoticon s all over the place for you today! You have earned it and you definitely should enjoy! Definitely kick those negative feelings to the curb because my dear you have empowered yourself and taken a stand. Feel great about that! I know I cried on the scale when I crossed into onederland. We all have different emotions when we achieve something good. Keep up the fantatic work and get far away from that 200 doorway!!
    3073 days ago
    Woo HOO!! What a onederful accomplishment!! We should do something fun on Sunday to celebrate!! Looking forward to meeting you and knowing someone personally that is on SP!!
    3073 days ago
    Finally got here to see it in living color, pink toes and all... emoticon emoticon emoticon I am so excited for you having shared the same moment with you...and what an exhilarating moment it is. I never felt shame, I felt guilt for doing, when I had failed so many times before...but it was short lived.
    Celebrate your hard won and well deserved place on your continuing journey.
    3073 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5089911
    Oh my goodness Congrats Lady. You have worked so hard! Enjoy
    the moment and the ones that follow. The negative emotions are very normal. I am so happy for you
    3073 days ago
    Acknowledge those emotions and send them on their way! They have NO place in your wonderful life!
    You are AMAZING and I'm so proud of you! You have shown yourself that emoticon

    Yay for pink toes!
    3073 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/27/2012 9:07:21 PM
    You are doing a great job! Keep up the good work! Focus on the positive emotions and crush the negative ones. You have every right to be happy! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    P.S. Love the toes! Mine are a similar color right now.
    3073 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/27/2012 4:22:44 PM
  • EM4488
    I actually squealed when I saw the title!!! YAY! So excited and happy for you! Yayayayya wonderland is awesome! I got there once....and then twice....and hope to not go through it again :)

    So proud of you! Keep rocking!
    3073 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon This made my day! whoo hoo!

    the thank you was from madeline
    3073 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/27/2012 2:50:02 PM
    Amazing job, well done! I don't doubt lots of emotions go through, but you're right..you get to choose which ones to focus on for such an amazing success!!! Way to go!!!
    3073 days ago
  • MJK0430
    You have worked hard for this! Revel in your accomplishment! emoticon
    3073 days ago
    Love your progress and let me do 'happy' dance with you!
    emoticon emoticon
    3073 days ago
    Oh I am SO happy for you. YES there are mixed emotions... but those negative ones? They are from the pit. Let them lie there. You are doing amazing now and that is what matters... not the past. Fresh mercies each morning!

    I am BACK over 200.... but back on track and hope to join you in Onederland soon. But for now I will happy dance with you. YAY YAY YAY!!!

    I look forward to more milestone crossings in the future!
    3073 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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