October 13, 2012 Happy Fall Ya'll

Saturday, October 13, 2012

The past 18 months have been the most difficult time of my life. I am thankful that I have been able to do all the I have done for my parents. My mom is still here with us. She has gone through treatment for over 18 months and still surprises me. This last treatment was increased to 75% as her tumor markers keep going up. On the way to the hospital, my father had a mini stroke so I was pulled in many directions getting him to the hospital etc. As my birthday approaches, ten days from now, my mother will come to Tulsa again or therapy and for all the scans. I'm not sure what God's plan is however, I'm trying to choose to be patient and honor my mothers wishes. Things are getting harder and it's very sad to see our parents struggling. I must continue to make healthy choices everyday. Every morning, I look forward to checking on my spark friends and then go to the gym. It helps motivate me to get home and log in my exercise and get those points! Thank you to all my spark buddies for all the love and support you give me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Well it's been six months so just checking in to see how you are? I can only imagine you've had ALOT going on at home, between your mom & your dad.

    I lost my sister to cancer Dec 2, 2010; my dad died 4 years before; and my mom went Home Nov 25, 2012; so I can empathize. I am trying to get healthy and switch more and more to a plant based diet to prevent the same. Hugs to you!

    Carol from No Artificial Sweeteners
    2965 days ago
    Hi, luv.....Sounds as though your strength and fortitude are carrying you through this challenge and I also know that you are doing your very best to give your parents all that you can. Your time and patience is so valuable and the best gift ever. Hang in there, Wanda. Know that I am praying for you and your whole family.
    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and holiday season.
    Love always. Your friend,
    3130 days ago
    3161 days ago
    Please take care of yourself while you're busy taking care of your parents.
    3161 days ago
    I feel for you Wanda. You are doing what you can do and you aren't alone with all you are facing.
    Keep yourself strong as best you can and find things that take care of you.
    Keeping you in prayer.

    3162 days ago
  • DEE107
    Wanda Caz sent me your link , AS I read it I started to cry this hit me hard, You sound like me and what happened with my mother and all,, Its hard when its our parents we think they will live forever and be there with us and when they get sick oh my it hits us hard than we know... Hugs and praying for you and for strength and courage you will need during this time ..Hugs Dee
    3162 days ago
    Caz sent me here, and I am so happy she did!
    I know something about what you're going
    through. In 2007, we buried my FIL. I am
    glad to say that he died without pain or lots
    of sickness. He bled internally and the
    doctor couldn't stop it. Mom was then at
    the age of 88. Since then, I have been the
    only caretaker for her. She suffered a very
    hard fall in her apt., the end of this past
    July. She stayed in the hospital for four
    days, and from there she went into the
    nursing home. She no longer stands nor
    walks. She has wanted to go to be with
    the Lord for a very long time. I can't
    believe all the financial woes of getting
    a patient into the nursing home. I was
    really stressed for that reason, and the
    fact that I felt so bad that Mom was now
    in the hands of someone else to care for
    her. It took time, but eventually, I had
    to accept it. I still take care of all her
    clothing and I try to go to visit most days.
    You are a very wonderful daughter to do
    all that you are able, to care for both, your
    parents. It is very stressful to make them
    priority as it seems that is the way it is.
    But again, we have to take care of our
    body and things at home, especially if
    we have a DH, as I do. I hope that you
    continue to take care of you, so that
    you'll be able to take care of them. emoticon

    3162 days ago
  • KIMMIE124
    It's awesome to know that you honor your mother and father. Your good deeds do not go un-noticed by the One who really matters. May your life contain moments of blessings and peace.
    3162 days ago
    Hi Wanda.........
    I went through the same thing with my Dad, who passed in 2000. Now my Mom, who is 88 is becoming very dependent and we aren't sure how much longer she will be able to live in her apartment. I feel, like I am sure most children of aging parents do. They took care of me when I needed it and have always had my best interests at heart. The least I can do, is to return this care.
    I do, however, also take care of myself when it is needed. Grab some Me-Time whenever you can and enlist the help of siblings, other family members, or professionals if possible. You must take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of them.
    I wish you the very best. It is yet another stage of our lives........
    3162 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/14/2012 4:15:18 PM
    It's so difficult for both the child and the parent -- as I believe parents feel that their children should've have to take care of them because it's their job to take care of their children. However, there does come a time when the roles must be reversed, and it can be very stressful. Get support wherever and whenever you can, take care of yourself, and remember that sometimes you just can't physically or emotionally "do it all" and that it's okay to take a break and not feel guilty!
    3162 days ago
    Wanda, Caz sent me too. It is hard taking care of our parents but we can only do what they let us. It is their choices that need to be respected. Daddy was 92 and died May 10, 2012. He was ready to join mama and Jesus. (((HUGS))) and lean on God , it will help.
    3162 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5198989
    You sljnd like a wonderfjl, caring daughter. Good luck.
    3162 days ago
    the Love and Care you show to them during this tough time will be the greatest gift you could give each other in your entire lives. Hold on to that thought and know that what you are doing will return to you over and over again throughout your life.
    3162 days ago
  • STHAX10
    You are doing yourself proud by taking care of you! You cannot take care of others if you are not healthy. I am sorry for what you have had to go thru.

    Being there for your mom and dad are very important things to do. I lost my mom on 12/22/2005 to complications from her treatment. Then lost my step-dad on 4/17/2006 to an unknown brain tumor. The time you spend with them will be golden treasures.

    By the way, we share a birthday??? Happy Birthday ahead of time. God bless you!!! emoticon
    3162 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12666769
    Be strong. God always gives the necessary strength for the trial in hand. It may not always feel like it
    3162 days ago
  • SMILES4383

    Hold tight. Do not let go.
    Your trials are great now, but you are wise to continue to stick with your fitness program. Wonderful Stress-relief from the gym and eating plan.

    emoticon T.
    3163 days ago
    wanda caz sent me here and I am so sorry that you are going through such a hugely stressful time right now . I am adding my prayers to your family and wish that you continue taking care of you and that you find some comfort in our presence here with you.
    3163 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5707126
    Wanda, I wanted to add my love and prayers to the others. I lost my parents within 10 months of each other when I was a teenager. My mother with lung cancer and my father 10 months later with a massive heart attack. Your parents are so lucky to have you with them for this time.
    I have family in the Tulsa area and know the Midwest heart and that you are loved and wrapped in their love.
    My thoughts and emoticon are with you and yours through this time. Please continue to take care of yourself. May you be surrounded by angel wings to protect and comfort you. emoticon Nola
    3163 days ago
    Hi Wands. Caz sent me here also. My Dad passed 19 years ago from lung cancer. While I don't know how you feel I understand what you are going through. He was DNR. It was very difficult to watch him leave us, I feel very blessed today for it though. To be able to support his final wishes as he supported everything that I wanted in my life whether or not he agreed was a privilege. We had many talks and said a lot of things to each other that needed to be said. While these times are challenging and very painful, treasure them and get a few extra hugs and say a few extra I love yous. You will be glad that you did.

    Don't forget to take care of yourself. That is so important. If you don't take care of yourself, you will have nothing to give to them. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as well as your parents.
    3163 days ago
    Caz directed me to your blog. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    3163 days ago
    I understand what you are going through. Did that when my dad became sick, and with mom through all of that while he was struggling,before he passed. Now mom is having her own health issues. It is hard and takes a tole on you, don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself, while you take care of your parents.
    3163 days ago
    Wanda, you are a great daughter going through a really tough time. Hang in there. You are wise to take care of yourself. Iknow it is really hard to go to the gym during times like these, but I'm glad to read that you are sticking to your healthy routine.

    Know that I admire you for your service to your parents and for your regular exercise.. Take care and keep on sparkin'. -Marsha
    3163 days ago
    Caz is such a wonderful lady for sending us to those who need extra prayers/support. I can completely relate to all you're going through. While my parents are both gone - I went through the same with my dad first, then my mom.

    All I can say is keep doing what you're doing by taking care of yourself and eating well/exercising.

    And know our SP friends are here and sending prayers and positive thoughts your way.
    3163 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4114015
    Wanda, CAZ sent me here too. I agree so with the others on here.

    Most of us older ones on here have gone through caring for elderly failing parents. It is not something I would wish on anyone. And although some had not so hard times caring for those parents, it is never EASY.

    My heart goes out to you and I want you to know that my dh and I will put you on our prayer list and be praying for you everyday. I agree with CAZ, it is extremely important for you to stay healthy yourself now to combat the stress you are going through.

    Sweetheart, know that you have much support here and I will be checking back on you often! God Bless you and God Bless CAZ for sending the others and myself here to lift you up!

    3163 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8643915
    Wanda, it's so sad when our roles are reversed and we become the caretaker for our parents who have always taken care of us. I nursed my Mother thru Alzheimers and my Dad thru his last days and it's very difficult. Just be there for them as much as you can but remember now you are all they have. Eat healthy and get your exercise to keep yourself fit for you and for them.
    Loving thoughts and prayers are coming your way. emoticon
    emoticon Nancy
    3163 days ago
    Wanda Caz sent me here to meet you. I want to wish you peace as you go through this. My mother passed June 1 3 years ago of lung cancer that went to her brain. She was diagnosed 3 years prior and drs decided because of her COPD and partially her choice.

    I worked with elderly in nursing homes and hoem care and even though I had this medical knowledge it was hard to watch. I am an only child so it was all on me and my dad who didn't go great with it. Suffice to say I was beat, perhaps had I learned prior ( and yet ongoing) how to take care of myself better it would have been easier on my physcially etc. Nothing changes the mental other than being positive then when the inevitable downside slope comes being glad they don't suffer long.
    Mum didn't get really ill until Dec 23, when she started acting diff, nearly falling and some incoherent, that is when we learned it had gone to her brain. March she was hospitalized as it was too hard for dad and myself to care for her , she was very much like a dementia pt. Was sad as she asked to go home for the first bit made me so sad. looking back I would have somehow made it possible but I don't dwell on that.
    She was 83 when she passed and had not been in pain for the last month and I was thankful that she seemed at peace at the end.
    Not writing this to make you feel sad, just so you know I totally can understand.
    Also what a brave woman you are and how hard a journey it is for everyone. I read back a blog or so)
    HUGS and do take care of you and know that you have done an amazing job.
    3163 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5645667
    Caz sent me here and I am glad she did ..
    Going through what you are with your parents is always very hard ..and I send my Love and Support to you all .
    You need to look after yourself too my dear, to stay strong for them..
    Always in my thoughts .. Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3163 days ago
    Wanda you are a lovely lady and my heart goes out to you and your family as you go through such painful times.

    Keeping yourself healthy is even more important at the moment and some normality (your exercise routine and sparking) will help to keep you grounded and allow you to lay your burden down for a while and switch off.

    My prayers and thoughts are always with you.
    emoticon emoticon
    3163 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/14/2012 8:41:29 AM
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