Update: Where I've Been

Monday, October 22, 2012

I've recently received a few messages and goodies from my super sweet friends here on Spark. I don't have a lot of time to respond individually, and so I thought a blog post may reach more people quickly and effectively.

We have had some serious upheaval in our lives in the past couple of months. Some of it good, and some of it bad. So, with that introduction, I'll just jump right in.

My husband changed jobs... again. He had been working on building a business in real estate, and for roughly 18 months we were living entirely off my income. We were just barely getting by, and each month that passed without a significant improvement in his income, the stress on me mounted. At the end of August things came to a head, and I told my husband that I couldn't handle the current situation any longer. After a long discussion, and lots of lists of pros and cons, he decided to step away from real estate and move into something more stable. At first, it was only going to be a temporary solution to alleviate some stress on me and help build our finances back up to a stronger position. He started with a new company in the middle of September, and I think he likes it better than he thought he would. This may be more of a permanent change that he initially thought it would be, and we are completely fine with that. This has really made a significant impact to our schedule, though, as he is working different hours than before. He is no longer able to join me at the gym for the 6pm classes, and I'm finding it hard to stay motivated to go. My commitment to working out seems to ebb and flow, and I'm really struggling to find a reason for me to want to go regularly again. Please, don't preach and don't leave all kinds of comments about why I should go and why I need to go and blah blah blah. Let me figure it out on my own.

At the end of August, I received a call late one night from my mom. She had the most devastating news I've ever received. My 15 year old niece was being removed from her home and the state was giving my mother guardianship. Through a series of circumstances, it came to light that she was being sexually abused by her father (my sister's ex-husband), whom she had been living with since she was 3 years old. The abuse was substantial, and had been going on for several years. Her father was in prison, and her step-mom was involved and knew about what was going on and may face charges herself. I've never heard my sister cry like that.

It's been a rough couple of months, and I've been trying to be as available and supportive to my mom, sister and niece as I can be. My sister lives in Dallas, and has been dealing with issues of her own. It seems that someone stole her identity and used it to commit welfare fraud in another part of the country. She had no idea she had a warrant for her arrest until she was arrested and spent a week in jail in Kansas. That was a nightmare of a week, and something that no one wants to relive.

My sister has made the decision to move back in with my mom and my niece, and everyone seems relieved and excited about that decision. I'm thankful that she is taking steps to be more available to her daughter and to be there to support and encourage her through what has to be a completely nightmarish experience. She is looking for jobs in the area and will move as soon as she has something. Certainly moving will be difficult for my sister, and rural Iowa is a very different place from urban Dallas. I'm hoping that she will find ways to cope with the change and that she will find a good community of people to engage with. I believe that ultimately, her desire is for her and her daughter to move to Denver to start fresh, once all the custody and legal trials are over.

Things are going very, very well at my work, which is good. I feel like at least that is a stable and steady positive thing in my life right now. It's going to get very, very busy in a very short time, as I will be helping with bringing on a new client. I'm really looking forward to learning this side of the business. Plus, I have lots and lots and lots of time off for the holidays. Between the week I have off for Thanksgiving and the week and two days I have off for Christmas, I have 20 days off for the holidays. I'm looking forward to some serious R&R.

I miss being able to be more active on SparkPeople. I have missed my sweet Pixie friends so much, and feel so isolated and listless, like I'm floating alone in the middle of the ocean. I just don't have the time right now to participate the way I want to in the forest. I hope you guys understand. To everyone who has dropped a note on my page or sent me a super sweet and thoughtful goodie, THANK YOU! I can't tell you how much it means to me!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • EM4488
    Holy crap Crystal, I am so sorry you're dealing with all of this. I cannot fathom what you're family is going through right now.
    I'm here to be a vent-box if you need! Just message me anytime.
    But - yay for Josh liking his new job and you still liking yours! That is definitely a huge help in the stability of life!

    3200 days ago
    Oh my goodness! What a lot you've had to deal with! I'm sorry you're going through all of this. Of course we understand if you don't have time right now to participate more with the Pixies. We miss you, but your "real" life is more important. Take care of yourself! emoticon emoticon
    3202 days ago
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