No More Excuses.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
I keep wondering why I fail all the time to lose weight. I wonder how long I can keep making excuses to not work out or why I binged. The fact is I am an addict through and through , I am 7 years clean from drugs and alcohol . I can not seem to let go of the food addiction or maybe I just didn't want to. Honestly food has been my comfort, my friend, my lover and my god way before I used a drug or drank anything .
My mother use to put me on diets as a child saying at 90 lbs I was too fat. That was the beginning of this crazy obsession with food. I was 5'6" , 12years old and at 90 lbs I was fat in my moms eyes. This was one of many ways my mother choose to abuse me as a child. I am always struggling with the reasons for it or the reasons why I do not want to let go of the weight now. After spending time on here reading member blogs and seeing for the first time I am not alone . Fact is I am nothing special because of my child hood seems to be the norm for people with addictions . I asked myself why some succeed and I don't Well I think I have found the link to those who succeed , they do not make excuses , they do not use the past as a crutch nor do they live in the past. I got it I really got it. I began praying and I asked God to help me forgive and let go of the past . I Asked for his help to live just for today and to live happily just for this moment.
I called my doctors , yes doctors when you abuse yourself like I have you have a doctor for everything lol. My cardio doc cleared me to work out, slowly at first but he assured me I was only going to benefit from working out. My family doctor discussed my diet and medications and he cleared me to move forward , he even recommended a supplement which I will get Friday. We did all the test like A1C , Cholesterol ect. ect. I have an accountability buddy now too she was excited I had finally made the choice to move past excuses and get moving to a healthy life.
I will be posting before pics. and as I move through this journey I will post updated pictures. I will stumble I know but I will not make excuses for it and I will not let those times be my excuse to stop moving forward. I want to thank all of you for your blogs , for sharing your journey with me and showing me I am not alone and that I can do it too.