Disbelief & Being Melancholy
Thursday, December 06, 2012
I'm being a little melancholy tonight. We have a local facebook page for buying and selling items and I have had it in the back of my mind to get a few things ready, pictures taken, prices set, etc to list on that page. So tonight I went down stairs to pull out of storage bins some old clothes that no longer fit. I knew what they were, but I didn't realize the emotions they would bring up to the surface. They've been in storage for 3 years, ever since I lost the majority of my weight. When I pulled the top off of the bins, memories of wearing those clothes (most of them 10 - 12 sizes larger than what I wear now), being that weight, came flooding back. Some actually good memories (my youngest daughter and I had matching sweaters at one point and I found mine), but most of them just of disbelief. Disbelief that I had been that size. Disbelief that I took it off and kept it off (notice I didn't try to get rid of them until now, being the cautious person who doesn't want to have to repurchase clothes if I need that size again) for almost 3 years. Disbelief that I had been THAT person, because unless the memories are jarred, I don't REALLY remember it. I don't ever think about the pain in my knees that I had when I tried to squat down to pull clothes out of the washer & dryer, or not having the strength to open the living room window, or not being comfortable sitting in a car, or not being able to be comfortable in a winter coat after it's buttoned. Sorry if this brings anyone down, just a lot of memories came back tonight.