IN MEMORY OF TRIXIE

July 8th will always be a day I remember because today I lost my Pug, Trixie - my friend, my companion and my loyal doggie of 15 years. Sadly, I had to make the decision whether to let her continue with her pain or let her go.

Trixie was over 100 years old in dog years but she'll always be that 10 week old puppy I brought home in October 1998. Her once black muzzle was totally gray. Her springy gait had been replaced by an arthritic limp and legs that slid out from under her as she tried to negotiate her way to the door to go out. I can remember how excited she used to get when I put on her leash and said "out!" Now she couldn't get excited because she couldn't hear me when I called to her. She would be walking beside me toward the door and would walk into a wall or a piece of furniture. Many times she would fall onto the porch because she could no longer negotiate the small step down from the front door to the porch. Trixie was a dog who would wait for you to get home to go potty - even if you were gone for 12 hours. Never would she mess in the house. Now here she was unable to control her bowels and so foggy from doggie dementia that she didn't know what she had done. Trixie was almost blind; just about 100% deaf; had lost almost all her sense of smell and only got up from her dog bed to eat. She slept and ate and had no control over anything anymore. She was leading a life without any quality left in it, and she deserved better So, today, I made the hardest decision I ever had to make. My Vet, who is not one to take putting a dog to sleep lightly, told me I made the right decision - that it was the time to end her suffering and let her go.

I stayed with Trixie until they put the IV that would deliver the twilight sleep into her before that final injection. I kissed her and hugged her and left the room in tears. My husband stayed with her through the process and came out of the room with tears in his eyes, along with my Vet. We all hugged and I cried some more, and we left. My husband said Trixie fell into a deep sleep before the final injection was even given, He said she died so peacefully and so quickly, it was like she was waiting to be free of her struggles in this life. I will be getting her ashes in about a week and I think I will bury them in my garden. I have a ceramic Pug head with a hook next to my front door where Trixie's leash always hung. Her leash and collar are hanging there now as a memorial to my beloved little doggie who stood by me through thick and thin and, at times, when no one else was there for me. I think God has a place for these dear little angels and I know my little angel is there now. Rest in Peace, Trixie.