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Dec 17, 2013....hubby's birthday

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

So today is my husband's 39th birthday, a reminder that we're getting older and nothing seems to change. I tried to talk to him about the issues within our marriage tonight and he shut me out. Not the best way to start another year in just a few weeks...not sure how much more I can push all of this out of the way for my children's sake. I wonder if they will eventually understand what I've done for them all these years? Will I regret staying in this relationship? Will he change? Can he? Does he even want to? I've asked for years to see a marriage counselor, he told me he doesn't believe in it which has ruined my dream of becoming one. I wish he could see what is right in front of him...maybe I have been deluding myself all these years that he and I ever belonged together.
So in honor of my husband who is a selfish butt I had two margaritas at dinner...I only ate one of the fajitas from my meal and brought the rest home but those two margaritas kicked my butt.

Oh and I shoveled mine and most of the neighbors drivways today and hit 5 miles by at least something went right
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  • no profile photo CD12681982
    I was in a similar place a few years ago. I tried so hard to save the marriage for my daughter's sake. I am not very happily divorced. My ex is now a very good friend, his girlfriend is now one of my best friends, and my daughter has 3 very supportive, loving and most importantly HAPPY adults in her life. I hope you find a peaceful solution for you!!!
    2697 days ago
    2697 days ago
    Thanks, it's so hard to just give up you know. I asked him in tears many years ago to seek counseling and he flat out told me "no". He says I knew he was this way when I married him and he shouldn't have to change. um....okay? He was a single guy before we met, he'd never had a girl friend, been intimate with anyone, nothing. I came into this with two children already and I thought for sure he'd adjust, he knew what my life was like, who I was and he married me knowing all of these things. He thought life for him would just never change? REALLY????

    I don't ever last night was a rarity. On occasion I will have a glass of wine, or a mixed drink, but it is not something I do often and my children have never seen me intoxicated. I grew up with an alcoholic parent and I will never do that to my children. I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm drinking to ease this away, it just happened to be $2 margaritas so I had two. I figured he would have one since it was his birthday...guess not so I wasn't going to pass up the chance to really relax with him driving home. I did try to talk to him at dinner and he somewhat brushed me off as usual. Not sure how long before I'll blow my top about this but we don't really argue or fight in front of the kids. We don't really "talk" either tho.
    2697 days ago
    2697 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12242035
    Aw, I'm so sorry. I have to agree with Fenwaygirl on a lot of that. I know it is so frustrating to not be heard, and even worse- discounted! But you are smart and strong and I know you will make the right decisions for you and your family. I wish you the best of luck, and please know that I am here for you if you need me.
    2698 days ago
    You have so much on your plate i really feel for you emoticon
    You know we only have one life to live and if your husband refuses to change and refuses to seek counseling then you might want to think of seperating.
    This isn't healthy for your kids to see you unhappy I'm not sure if you argue in front of them but if so I'm sure they'd rather see you both happy even if that means you don't stay together.
    I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and my mom stayed in a very unhappy and verbally abusive marriage for 57 yrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She use to tell me all the time how she wished she never married him, how she wished she had left him but didn't because of us kids.
    WOW!!!!!!!!! I said you didn't have to stay with him on my account I hated the way he treated her even though she was abusive to me and vowed I'd never marry a man like my dad and thank god I haven't!!!!!!!!!!
    She was more of a maid then a wife and he only now realizes how much she did for him as she passed away a year and a half ago.
    Don't stay in an unhappy marriage because of your kids believe me speaking as an adult hearing my mother stayed with my dad cause of me and my siblings really hurt my heart that she put up with all the crap thinking she was doing right for us when in fact we all would of been better off if they had divorced.
    Maybe you need to be firm and give him an ultimatum and say if your not willing to do A... B....C..... then I want a divorce and if that doesn't shake him up enough to do something about it then nothing will and you know that you have to turn your life around for the better for not only you but your kids!!!!!!!!!!
    Your kids wouldn't want you to settle, they'd want you to be happy and live your life to the fullest, I know that's what I'd of wanted for my mother......
    Think about it, your drinking to hide your feelings.... do something about this before more time lapses and you don't want to have any regrets about this one life your granted!
    2698 days ago
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