Well, yes I AM alive. Thank you to everyone that has left me goodies, emails, notes, comments.. you guys are awesome. I am doing SO much better and AM alive, yes! I got clearance in October from my doctors to jump back into fitness, but it really didnt work for me. I was still struggling with fatigue, food, etc.. and I have been working actively to get myself back on track enough to get back with the program.
I have decided that 2014 is my year of No Resolutions. I don't need to make some huge change and be some random person that I wasn't before. I am good the way I am. I need to actively work toward being more epic than the day before, but that isn't happening simply because its January 1st... that is happening because I NEED to be stronger and better and test myself and challenge MYSELF to reach goals and find balance in my life.
Today, a very amazing friend and I decided to join forces to keep each other accountable for the year. We aren't going to check in daily or talk about food or worry about fitness minutes.. we are going to focus on our journey and our hearts. We want BALANCE. Mind, body, spirit...
When our minds are clear, our bodies are balances, and our spirit is singing... true happiness is already within us. When we are HAPPY and BALANCED, our goals will just COME to us, because that's what is best for us. Not because we are ticking a scale or anything like that. Yes, the numbers matter, to a certain point, but they are NOT the "big picture". LIFE is.
So... for 2014... my starting numbers are:
Goal by 12/31/2014: 191
That "goal" is with 2 pounds per week. As I have been doing this a while, I KNOW that life gets in the way. I am constantly learning and growing and FINDING myself in this journey. Even if I dont reach my goal (which will actually surpass my ultimate goal), I plan to end this new year proud of myself, happy with my choices, and stronger than when I began.
I hope you know how amazing you all are. You can do this. No matter where you started, no matter if you've gained, no matter who is against you, how many hours you work, how hard fitness is for you, how sucky weighing food is, anything....... YOU CAN DO THIS. Its a learning experience and its for life. You dont have to be perfect to do it... you just have to do it. You are enough. Right now. No one else has to live in your skin or with your heart. Just you. Struggle is GOING to happen. It happens with EVERYONE.
The biggest thing is: when you struggle, FORGIVE yourself, and move on. Dwelling on it causes so much more damage then shrugging and going "Dang, look at that.. I AM human!" and then getting right back to it.
I am proud of myself for not giving up. I gained so much back, but I also gained perspective and so much more (mentally) than I can explain. And.. best of all, I have LEARNED... and I'm still here.
Every step in a journey is important... and now... my steps have greater purpose than they did before.
Best wishes on your journeys and your YEAR. You are the master of your life!
And now.... for a challenge... I present it to ALL of you...
I CHALLENGE you to be epic. Be brave. Don't let the world scare you. Do what makes YOU happy and what makes you feel STRONG. Don't CARE what anyone else says or thinks about your clothes, your ideas, your schedule... do what makes you feel the best and benefits you. No one else is paying your bills or doing what YOU need to do.
People come and go... YOU are the one that has to live with you forever...
What would make you the happiest? Do that. Stay doing it. Be EPIC. You deserve it!