Freezing Up & Worried

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Today should be counted as okay. It is on paper to a certain point. I've had all of my water, I'm eating well, I went to the gym. And look at the clock and go "and what else?"
There is nothing else. It took me HOURS to get myself to the gym, though I was dressed and only had to put on my shoes. I have things to do, there's a list right here. And I just...sit here. Now that I've eaten lunch, I'm feeling tired. I actually am still hungry too, which is new.
I have Junior League tonight, and I know that will be fine, I wrote my comments up already to present. Then off to the movies with some friends after that. But in terms of doing the things that need to get done *for me* and to move forward with my life, I'm just sitting here.
I can see that I'm scared, but I'm not sure of what. I'm hiding, because it's an easy way to pass the time. There's like this giant disconnect in my head, and I just don't know what to do!!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hi Katie,
    I saw from the huddle that you need support. Anytime you need to vent You can always count on me. It's so hard to put us up front in that to do list. It is scary moving past our same old comfort zone where we know what to expect from people, good and bad. Do your best to do your stuff first no matter how foreign it feels like. The fun stuff can be your reward. Sherry
    2317 days ago
    Me too...just sitting at the computer, wasting time.
    2318 days ago
    Dear Kate,

    I'm not sure how I stumbled upon your blog, but it really resonated with me. I have often felt this way - that I have a million things to do, but very few of them are truly part of what I need to do to achieve my dreams. I have found that because the list of "other stuff" I have to do is long and full of things that aren't deeply important to me, I just don't do them. The stress of having that long list makes me dread them more, and 'round and 'round I go!

    I've been thinking about it lately, and am going to try something new (to me) - I will do ONE thing from the list of non-dreamy To Dos, and then ONE thing that moves me closer to by big goals, and THAT'S IT. I can consider it progress and a success. And it also opens the door for me to keep working one other items if I am so inclined. Past experience has taught me that once I get started, I'm more likely to keep at it, so if that happens, great! If not, I'm still moving forward in the mundane and towards my "real" goals.

    Hope you don't mind the unsolicited advice. Maybe we can tackle this kind of roadblock together!

    :) Courtney
    2318 days ago
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