Thought I was okay.

Friday, April 11, 2014

WARNING...this is a sad blog. I have a million thoughts flying through my head and am blogging instead of eating. You do NOT have to read this...

I thought I was doing okay. I really did. And then I saw this pin:


My sweet lab of 13 years, Daisy is at the vet right now. We're not sure she's going to be coming back home. They have jury-rigged an oxygen cage of sorts for her because she is (hopefully, best case scenario) experiencing laryngeal paralysis. In layman's terms, a nerve in her throat has given out causing her not to be able to inhale. If the steroids and oxygen cage help, we'll be able to bring her home and just give her pills to help with her breathing. If not...well, you know.

DH and I brought her to the vet today, praying for a miracle. We thought her heart was giving out so now we've latched on to this possible diagnosis with all we've got. They sedated her to try to calm her down. We got a chance to go back with her for a little bit while the sedation was taking effect. In the back of my mind, I told myself that this might be good-bye but I hope it's not.

Daisy made the move from Florida with us 9 years ago. She slept under my kids' cribs when they came home from the hospital. I had a good hard cry on the way to the vet and again on the way home. My children (6 & 8) know that she's sick, but not the severity of it.

I'm trying to hold it together and for the most part, I think I am. But then something will happen and I'm a mess all over again.

To my team that I'm not chatting with today, I'm sorry. I'm not really in the right frame of mind to be there. I'll check in when I can.
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