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another for today's struggle

Friday, May 09, 2014

I am so emotional today. I think I am sad I feel physically ill. I am eating good, allowing myself some carbs not too much so I know it is not that. I am taking a break from pushing with the strenuous exercise so I know it is not that. I am drinking water to make sure I am not dehydrated.
I noticed my heart was flushing again yesterday. Something I have kept in control for years. This is a scary feeling. My doctor is aware. He says some side effects from the medication I am on for this causes nausea.
I feel guilty for not pushing myself through this. I feel scared if I skip today then I will skip tomorrow or the next or the next. I am worried I will put weight back on and have my other numbers go higher. I wish the nausea would go away. But I need to deal with this seriously. I am under the doctors care and am following his orders.
I don't want to feel guilty and I don't want to feel nauseous. emoticon
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