Feeling beat down
Friday, May 23, 2014
I just feel like the title. Beat down. I forget that my boss does not realize the work I put in. He thinks my co-worker does it all. I had told myself when he had the heart attack and found out how he viewed me that I would no longer care and put forth an effort at work. That's just not me. Yesterday I was reminded and now I am trying to distance myself. I need to go back to only doing what is required since he will not acknowledge my worth to his practice. He had a heart attack in the office. Long story short I called the ambulance and he was in surgery with in the golden hour. I went to the hospital,made all the calls he wanted me to make(after he was brought up to ICU),he wanted me to call all his friends and his children over and over. I stayed at the hospital til 10:30pm. His sister,Mother and kids finally had shown up. My co-worker could not handle trying to find a dr to sub I had to help with that. My boss (dr) kept texting me all day. I had to get the subs prepped for the day and keep everything going.His family went home the next day and he expected me to pick him up from the hospital. He texted me saying he was ready to go and it was time for me to get back to work. That just deflated me. My heart sank. I was exhausted. I texted him back asking him when did I stop working. My room mate and I were having problems and still are somewhat. When I got to the hospital I asked him what he wanted me to do. Should I drive back to the Chevy Chase location or go home. He said to call my so-worker to see if she had any work for me to do. I went off on him. I told him that I know my job and that I haven't asked my co-worker's permission in a long time. I said she even comes to me for advice. Her and I are equals, we work together to get the job done. I said you don't even know what I do there do you? I said so you tell me what you want me to do because I'm not calling Pia. He told me I could go home after I took him to his car. I was crushed. I swore then that I would just do my job and not care. Like I said I'm just not that way. I am going to learn how to write a resume this weekend and start applying for jobs. I see way to much fraud in the industry. I just want to do patient care and not know the bs that goes on. My sister is a vampire and a liar. I have had to see her and interact with her more than usual which puts a lot of stress on me. I worry about my health all the time. I am actively trying to get and stay healthy. I'm just having a bad two weeks. I can't seem to keep up with the teams and challenges that I'm trying to stay active with. You guys ROCK!!!!!!!!
Sorry for my pity party. I just can't wait to get out of work so I can really have a good cry.
I'm alone this weekend which is good but I feel left out. Everyone is off doing fun and family things that I'm not part of. The day trip I had planned with a friend fell through and I don't have the gas money to go.
Speaking of money. I am now having to buy my food,meds and supplies for my other work on my charge card. Something's got to give soon. It's bad when you can't afford to feed yourself and you're trying to get healthy.
Thanks for listening