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A Funeral, A Wedding, and an Amazing Visit with Mumsie! ***PIX!!!***

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I'm just going to get the ugly $hit out of the way first. Quickly and swiftly. It's taken up a LOT of my life in the last couple of weeks and the experience has left me drained.

About a year ago, I befriended another real estate broker .... we worked together shortly at the first real estate company I was affiliated with on the Outer Banks. We became very fast friends ... perhaps because her life was as much a $hitstorm as mine has been. If not, moreso.
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In a nutshell, she married her first husband a second time hoping for a better outcome, had a beautiful son with him.... but the man's problems manifested beyond anything any of us were capable of understanding. They had been separated for 2 years awaiting a divorce which was to be final in October. He threatened her. He threatened her with her son. He stalked her and harassed her. He was unpleasant to me. He went to her place of employment and threatened her and harassed her there.

I could go on and on and on ... but I shan't. Lots of manipulation and harassment and threats and all kinds of ugly things transpired. On the day my friend decided to mosey over to the magistrate's office to file a restraining order against her estranged husband, the man decided he would jump off Washington Memorial Bridge and kill himself.

Just like that.

My friend called me after I'd been at work all morning and said "I need you here, can you come?" so of course I went. Two hours later his body was found. And the whole damned thing was the most surreal experience ever. I have never known anyone to commit suicide. Of the people who have died in my life none of them wanted to die ... in fact, they all wanted to live. So this was hard for me to grapple with. Still is.

This happened precisely two weeks ago today. I spent the remainder of the week with my friend, helping her run errands, helping her break the news to her son, taking her to the funeral home and the estate attorneys' office ... I just dropped everything to assist her. She wasn't eating nor drinking and looked like she may keel over herself. She was angry and sad and .... angry and all sorts of things. I stayed with her the rest of that dreadful day, the two days thereafter, and attended the memorial services with her. He was a local man, grew up here, and the entire small community we live in is reeling over a man who seemingly had everything decided to end it all.

I, too, am angry. I am angry for my own personal reasons. And, again, I could babble on about being mad about it and how I feel a weird empathy for someone who I did not like who battled mental illness but refused any sort of treatment.... but it's time to mosey on to seriously super groovy shizzay.

Perhaps I should take excerpts of my babbles and write a wee book? Who is going to believe this shizz????

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The Saturday of the memorial, The Biologist and I packed stuff for the wedding I was to be in the following weekend ... camping gear....dog beds....stuff, so much stuff. BWHAHAHAHA!! I hadn't slept well and I absolutely was not thinking clearly. So my packing skills were whittled down to basically "let's-just-throw-what's-clean
-into-a-bag" and that's exactly what I did.

We loaded up the van, including our pets Lopez and Stella, and drove to French Creek State Park in Pennsylvania.

That's my Pomeranian camping.
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I was exhausted but we hiked and cooked and camped in that lovely campground in Pennsylvania. I wouldn't consider us "roughing it" as there was a bath house and toilets and running water on site .... but we had the best time. It was theraputic to be away from the beach and the drama it entailed the week before. I know that sounds terrible but...I couldn't get away from here fast enough.

Anyway.

That's my goddess "roughing it".

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I have video of her on our hike but for some reason it won't upload here. I'm most disappointed about that. I wish you all could see her sashay through the forest!

She's quite the sashay-er.

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We stayed one night in the state park then got up early to drive to Cape Cod to meet longtime online friend QUEENOFTHEFOREST live and in 3D. I have to say....it took us 11.5 hours [yes, eleven and a half hours!] to drive from Pennsylvania to Cape Cod ... and that while I live in a vacation area I have NEVER seen traffic like that of Connecticut. NEVER. We were on one stretch of road for an entire 4.5 hours barely creeping along. I promise to never complain about traffic here ever again. PINKY SWEAR.

Leaving Pennsylvania....


Stuck in Connecticut....


I met Mumsie live and in person Monday, August 11th, 2014 at around 8:35pm. And it was as if we had hung out together all our lives ... no awkwardness, no weirdness....and for the next three and a half days, we had the best time....we took our pups to the beach....to the inlet....we walked about in the rain .... we visited Provincetown and Wellfleet and Truro and Cape Cod National Seashore.... we ate clam chowder and lobster and cod and scallops [I make no effing apologies, either] ... we talked .... we laughed...it was fab. It was precisely what I needed at the time!!!


My Stella adoped Mumsie, much to Lilly's chagrin....

...or was that Mumsie's chagrin?!
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Lopez received kisses from Lilly...

This shizz happened as I tried to work remotely...

....but The Biologist fixed it when we got home!
And there were lighthouses and seals and all sorts of super groovy things...


I know I am missing key points but ... we had the largest time with Mumsie. I absolutely hated leaving .... dare I say it out loud....I got a dab misty and had to turn away when we parted. It was like we were truly blood related and had known each other always. And while I was supposed to go to New England to be in my friends' wedding, the highlight of our trip was infinitely spending time with our Queen on her Cape. Indisputably. I wasn't worried one bit about our finally meeting .... I realize that we often talk to people online and we get a certain perception about those folks and when you finally meet in 3D it's all "off". This was NOTHING like that. I am so glad that we took the opportunity to meet ..... QUEENOFTHEFOREST, I effing adore you!!!
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So there.

That totally happened.

Made my life!

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Then we had to leave Friday morning for Vermont and a destination wedding for my friend. New England is gorgeous, indeed it is.

Here's the inn where said nuptials took place....

....this is yours truly prepping for her bridesmaid duties....

I did my own hair and makeup but I drove the bride and her maid of honour [daughter] to the salon to be with them while they got their hair done.....did the brides' makeup as well. I provided the comic relief, as you can tell in this snapshot. I drove about in velcro rollers to the salon. My friend/bride had broken a few bones in her foot [!!!!!] a fortnight before the wedding ... which went down beautifully, I might add...so she was stressing about footwear and all that rubbish ... I tried to get her to keep her boot on .... but that didn't happen ... and by the end of the reception, I attempted to make an example and removed my silver Jimmy Choo sandals [that I thought would effing kill me] and donned a pair of soft fluffy UGGS ....


BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
!!!!!!!

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Sadly, I do not have any other photographs to share just yet. If/when I do acquire them, I shall post another babble and include them here.

Day after the wedding? A hike in the forest nearby, brunch, packed up the pups in the van and off went on our 16 hour drive home. We were going to attempt the drive in one fell swoop....but by 11pm we were absolutely tuckered out .... so we pulled over in a rest stop in New Jersey, napped for five hours, then continued our drive home.

I had a whirlwind coupla weeks there, including some extreme lows and extreme highs ... perhaps I should consider a memoir?!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MALCONTENTION
    LOVE seeing the pic of you and the QUEEN! So glad you had a great trip!!!!!
    2402 days ago
  • MARCHMAIDME
    I'm still hanging around here--actually am JEALOUS that I didn't know you were in New England! The Queen and I only live a coupe of towns apart and we can't seem to find time to get together although we've known each other for years!

    You look wonderful and despite the craziness you describe here, it sounds as if there is a lot of good in your life. I'm so glad for that. Take care.
    2405 days ago
  • NGCHILD
    What an absolute whirlwind adventure! So glad you had safe travels. I would love to visit the Cape too. I met and married a man online -- he lived 15 minutes from me. Happily ever after it is!!

    Sorry abour your friend. Suicide seems to be on the rise and it's just terrible. Had a friend of a friend lose her son over the weekend -- 17 year old. Good grades, no druges, captain of the football team, straight A's -- shot himself in the chest. Why why why. Note was short and sweet .... I am sorry, I love you mom. I can't even imagine the pain. Obvioulsy a tortured soul and something was wrong. Prayers for your friend and her son. You are a good friend.

    Kiss your biologist.

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    2407 days ago
  • SEEHOLZ
    I love reading your blogs too- I am so happy you had a great time with Mumsie- at the end of the day, life is about being with people who make us feel good :-)
    Sorry about all the stuff with your friend and her Ex- sooo very sad. I know that would have put me through an emotional shredder for sure. LIfe is so crazy somteims.

    2420 days ago
  • KATELJM
    So much packed into a short time! Suicide is surreal, you were such a good friend to help the other Realtor get through that week. It sounds like your trip was the best medicine for you.
    2425 days ago
  • QUEENOTHEFOREST
    The only bad bit is the leaving. Lilly and I miss you four like crazy. Such a lovely visit. And here is the surprise...we prefer the same fresh local foods . We have cultivated a kind of Spark outlook on life. Though we sinned a bit it was nothing like pre Spark. We have a similar zest for life. Life is good and the better because we found each other.
    2427 days ago
  • MISSROCKABILLY
    I always love to read your babbling! Hope to see you back at it more!

    It sounds like you have had a rough time of it helping your friend and that she is having an even harder time. We went through something similar last year with a friend, so I know a little bit of what it is like. At least you were able to get away for a bit and decompress, not to mention getting to meet QUEENOFTHEFOREST face to face. That is awesome and I'm so glad that you had such a marvelous time!
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    2427 days ago
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