Tomorrow is the day
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Tomorrow is my 30th birthday. I really can't believe I am not going to be in my 20s anymore. It feels kind of scary, not because of getting older per se, but because I feel like I now have no excuses left for taking control of my life. I can't claim to be young anymore and the invulnerability that brings. I am without a doubt, an adult.
Growing up has been one of the scariest things I have done and I think I have resisted it a lot. But I want to be proud of myself. I want to be able to tell people that I am in control, confident, and the master of my own life. I have gotten so used to talking about how I'm not organized, not healthy, not capable of being who I want to be, and I'm tired of it.
I know having an entire mindshift in the course of a day is not possible. I know I am still going to get tired and want to give up on things. I know I can't go from being unproductive and a procrastinator to a goal machine in a week or a month. I know plenty of people much older than I am that still don't "have it together." But for the first time in a long time I feel motivated not just to reach a particular goal but to actually be a person I would be proud to talk about being. I want to believe I have the power to become that person and I want to believe that tomorrow will be the start.