Practice makes better right?
Saturday, January 03, 2015
2014 was not kind to me, I started out the year with loss and then it all went uphill from there. Actually the battle started September of 2013 and just kept on building. But I can't say that all the pain I endured was for nothing. I learned a lot about myself, I learned a lot about people that were in my life, I learned that sometimes the people you are supposed to be able to trust the most are just as capable of stabbing you in the back. I learned that, as difficult as it is to admit, I have been a doormat for far too long, and that I do have a breaking point and once I reach it I am very capable of standing up and fighting. And I learned that sometimes you have to put yourself first to make sure that you are doing what's right for the future of your family. The lessons I learned, and the decisions I've had to make because of those lessons, have been heartbreaking. But God is good all the time, and when He says that He will work everything for good, I absolutely know that to be a fact because He always keeps His promises. I know that this too shall pass, and now I have to take those lessons and put them into action. And now it's time to put my time and energy into the things worthy of it. I anticipate 2015 to be an awesome year!! I plan on making many changes in my life to make that happen. And the first change I need to make is to focus on my health. I'm no stranger to this, I've done it before and I can again. I just need to put some oomph into it, what I need to work on most is maintaining motivation because truth be told that's where I keep losing it lately. And I'm lazy. I don't have a job on my feet all day anymore, I have a job where I'm sitting on my butt, talking on the phone for 10 hours a day, and since I sit on my rear it makes it easier to just not do anything. But if I keep going at the rate I am I'm not setting the example that I want my daughter to see, I'm not setting myself up for a long lifetime with my fiancé. And Riley and Raishaun both deserve everything that I can give so I HAVE to get this in check. So one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. If I fall down, I get right back up, and I definitely don't give up. I am not expecting perfection of myself, I am expecting to legitimately put forth the effort that I deserve and to remember why I'm doing this. I've made my new vision board and put it where I will see it everyday, I've started writing my goals down and have gotten a journal to track where I am with my goals daily. I've got the what's, I just have to implement the how's. And I'm excited to start this journey again.