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Worst post-workout binge ever...

Saturday, January 03, 2015

Well, I did it again. And this time I am writing so as to remember exactly how physically awful I feel right now after over-eating for no good reason. The hope is that documenting this indulgence will help me to remember the after part so as to avoid repeating the behavior the next time I have a craving for a dozen or so mega chocolate chip cookies followed by a regular sized dinner.

It started off well enough. At around 2:45 after a reasonably portioned late Saturday lunch, I decided against a candy bar and instead hit the gym, where I enjoyed the best workout I've had in years. Seriously, it was awesome, a solid 30 minutes on the treadmill at a good pace at incline and even some intervals. I even caught a college kid looking my way in awe. He likely thought... "That guy is either too large or too old or both to keep this pace for so long. Better have the phone ready in case he goes down hard. LOL.

But then it hit me. While at Target making some post-Christmas returns, wrong-dude ninja turtles mainly, I walked slowly past the cookies. It was like super slowmo speed and I'm sure if it was a lady I was eying it would be creepy. But is was just the cookies that I wanted. And I wanted them so badly. On sale, mega chocolate chip, and somewhat over-baked and brown the way I love them. And I caved, promising myself that I would have two or three on the way home and then bring the rest to a meeting. (It is rare that I eat my own sweets or others' sweets at meetings; my worst eating is done alone and on my own, mainly in the car.)

I started eating them before I even got to the register, sheepishly re-fastening the white label back into place before paying for them. And then, on the way home, I ate an an alarming rate. I am quite sure I had 10-12 of them, but I did not count. And these were the largish variety cookies. I am so ashamed. It has been a really long time since I indulged in this unhealthy way. It got so bad in the car that I actually found myself eating faster and faster so as to get as many down as possible before arriving home back to my girls.

And as soon as I got home, and buried the remaining cookie evidence deep in the trash bin, I started cooking a steak and smashed potatoes dinner. My stomach was sour as I cooked that and some spinach to perfection for my girls. By the time it was ready, I was ready to eat again. And eat, I did. A little less than usual granted, but still too much for any meal, particularly after a meltdown like the cookie incident.

If this blog is too much or maybe of the wrong color, please look to another Sparker or maybe just drop me a private line to tone it down. Selfishly, it just helps to get this out there in the hopes of doing better next time. As my fave female heroine role of all time Scarlet said: Tomorrow is another day. Just wish I wasn't such a mess sometimes.

Thanks for reading if you got this deep.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD14722801
    Your a funny guy I laughed out loud I could just picture all that. Hey your real and that's a wonderful thing. Keep your sense of humor and don't give up. Sometimes your so hungry the temptation to eat the wrong stuff is all you can think of. So next time just have a snack before you hit the store because then your brain can override your comfort food triggers. I have to look at healthy cook books make a list and stick to the list or I get off track in every way so easy so just keep trying!
    2064 days ago
  • AAAACK
    I always wish more Sparkers would post both their rough days and good. I think the rough days do something for all of us in showing not only that we're not alone, but giving us a way to think through what might have been done differently without the difficulty of trying to do it for ourselves. It's hard to step out of our own minds and really see things for what they are. But when you read someone else's journey, you might see something you can use in your own life. So you're giving us the gift of being able to strengthen the neural pathways in our own heads to troubleshoot binges. And maybe at my next binge beginning I'll have that information ready at hand and maybe I'll be able to stop my binge sooner than I otherwise would have. So thanks for sharing! And next time, what if you just tried to have half a candy bar and then go to the gym. Maybe you wouldn't have had that feeling of deprivation? Hard to tell, you know yourself best. But I know that the more I deprive myself, the more I binge. There's a balance to be had, I'm sure, but I think it may be a lifelong balancing act, not an endgame. I'm still seeking mine! Good luck.
    2069 days ago
  • TWESTEN1
    Oh yeah, I've had binges like that too. And it does happen on days that are going great - like you, great workout ~ feeling good & eating well ~ and then bam. I believe it's called food addiction :) That's why I'm trying to cut sugar out of my diet again. It's true - when you cut it out, you lose your cravings (maybe not completely, but they are much more manageable). When we eat sugar, we crave it.

    At least you're honest about it. And like you said, hopefully having this documented it will be a big reminder the next time you get that urge :)

    One day at a time... that's all we can do!
    2085 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15160758
    I can so relate. It happens more often then it should but we just have to learn from it and move on. Next time it will be easier to chose the best decision. emoticon
    2086 days ago
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