I got back into my "fat pants"
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
My jeans fit again! They're a size 14 but they fit again! Actually I'm not sure what size they are. I used to be in an 8-10-12 range when I was at my smallest (depending on the brand). Then I switched to Banana Republic Tall jeans -- the Gap jeans just didn't fit well anymore. Anyway Banana Republic uses numbers -- like mens sizing -- so I'm in a 32" jean... but the funny thing is -- that is not my waist measurement. I have no idea how they try to justify using real numbers -- and then resize them to make me feel better about my waist. It just goes to show you how ridiculous the system is.
BUT I digress...
I can't believe its the end of January already. I had to go back to work this week. Classes start on Monday so I'm getting all of my syllabi ready and prepping Chemistry labs for next week. This semester will be easier. In the fall I had three Chemistry classes and three Chemistry labs. This time around I've got three classes and only two labs. That extra lab saves me 2.5 hours of in class time + prep + grading. That adds up to me hopefully keeping my head above water. The thing I'm not looking forward to is having to reteach everyone who got a D or an F last semester. I had to fail quite a few students for not being able to keep up and just a complete lack of trying on the part of a few of them. I'm going to try to shake things up a bit -- learn from my (not mistakes) growing as a teacher pains -- and make things better this semester.
One thing I have to figure out is my food. I ate like craaaaap in November and December. And guess what. I gained a lot of weight and was constantly sick. I'm trying to kick the two viruses that have been keeping me high on cold meds, coughing, and stocking up on Kleenex since the week before Thanksgiving. I had full on bronchitis for awhile -- then another virus thought it would join the party too.
This month I've been calorie counting and trying to focus on what is going IN to my body. It seems to be working. I shed a little bloat right at the beginning and today I weighed in at 225 (started the year at 233). So 8 pounds in one month! I know this is the initial woo hoo weight loss. It still feels like good motivation to keep going.
Its so frustrating that you body can gain weight so rapidly, but it fights you to take it off. I'm back for the long haul on this one. I want to get back in shape and be healthy.
Hopefully getting my own home will help. I've been in an apt in St. Louis for almost a year now. Our lease is up in April, so we have to move. We don't like our building management -- and there have been 20 car window break-ins in the last three months. Our parking lot is basically paved in safety glass at this point because no one ever cleans up. One of the downsides of the Ferguson debacle is that crime in the city is skyrocketing. With all of the cops monitoring protestors and being wary of being around people -- there's a lot more petty crime and misdemeanor crimes that are simply not a priority for the police. TJ and I agree we're moving out to the suburbs where its cheaper and safer....
SO that lead to me house hunting (not stressful at all right!?). Our original budget and Kirkwood/Webster Groves, MO search turned out to be.... not so great. Can't really afford anything in a nice enough area on a street that isn't super busy right next to a gas station next to a train track. So now were looking south to Affton, trying to learn about the area... and even then TJ is nervous about buying. Rental prices jumped 30% in one year! St. Louis has the highest jump of any city in the US in rental prices this year. Our apt runs us about $900/month... and now would run $1000-1150 if they thought they could get it. That's just ridiculous. The complex put up a new building that runs about $2000 for our apt size. CrAzY! So we may do a condo... not ideal for the dogs and for babies... but it may be best for our budget right now. My student loan bills are $1300 a month. Seriously. I almost pay more per month than I made as a grad student getting the dang PhD. Ugh... We're trying to save up money to pay down all of the debt and get out of it as fast as possible -- so we're trying to budget and save and cut pennies and it suuuuuucks. I know its good for the long term, but it suuuuuuucks.
Okay rant over. Anyway the whole point of that was, we're trying to find a new place to live where i can get my treadmill back from my friends and work my butt out and get back in shape.
The house hunt was derailed by TJ's car accident. He's fine. His car was totaled. SO we're dealing with insurance companies and trying to find a car for a 6'7" man... and its been a pain in the butt. So house hunting is on hold. (Did I mention I have to move in 70 days!?!) Im definitely not handling the stress well... I've turned to some of my bad OCD habits again. I'm trying to turn my OCD onto my food and planning my food, but haven't been as successful yet.
I have to watch myself though. TJ's sister is a recovering anorexic who keeps going in and out of treatment. Her meal plan is 3500-5000 calories a day. They seriously think this girl can eat 5000 calories a day -- she can't. Now I know ALL OF US definitely could, but we have the opposite disease of anorexia... Sometimes we both start rattling off calorie content of normal food and caloric density facts... and then you start to realize how warped your brain becomes when you have food issues. People without them cannot understand it.
I think that's it for now. I'm not on the website much. Its just become so clunky and pop up-y and slow from all of the ads running everywhere... I miss the old days ;-)