July 1, 2015 who knew someone could even want to kiss me?

after finding out about ashlea's insulinemia and insulin resistance syndrome, then terry was not going to come. well, I was in a bad way. we all know ashlea's brain lesions are causing issues but we won't know till the 15th if she has more than 2 or not so why dwell. right? terry could tell I was spiraling. you can only pile so much crap without saying enough already.

terry grows a pair and tells her boyfriend she has to come. that I need her. she calls and tells me I can pick her up. I thought she was messing with me. nope. she was serious. ashlea got excited. I pick her up. she spends time at the house first then we go to see her cousin because I got his address the last time I saw him at the store because I knew she'd want to see him.

well, we had fun!!!! long story short. first man I'd kissed in over 2 years. only other man I'd kissed in over 14 was my abusive ex, so that my SP friends is saying something. it felt sweet. he knew what I'd been through with chris and jerry is not the man he was 20 years ago any more than I am the same woman. with all of the ways chris has put me down over the years, it was nice to know, someone else could even want to kiss me. you know what I mean?