New beginnings, emotional eating

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

I had a little test for myself today.

I had a particularly upsetting day at work- not work related but with 'family' members that are less than sensitive and really hurt my feelings. It goes back to feelings of not belonging that are deep rooted- and I'm working on those.

But I knew the tears would come when I left for home- and come they did. Little buckets of tears.

I did reach out to a friend and she asked how I was doing since I'm on this pre-op diet of about 600 calories a day mostly from protein shakes. I told her I was hurt and hungry.

Of course I was.

My inner toddler was starving. Hungry for comfort.

When I did get home my wonderful dh had prepared a dinner I can have on this pre-op, and one I was anxious to dig into. But I didn't.

I realized that I needed to calm first- so that when I did eat I could enjoy the nutrition of my food and not use it for comfort. So I sat and talked to him, had a drink, waited about a half hour, had a salad. And then- when I was calm and feeling better- I ate dinner.

This isn't just about losing quickly so I can have surgery. This is about finally taking any steps necessary to change my bad habits. One at a time. So I can have some real peace and freedom from food.

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