New beginnings, getting real
Thursday, September 03, 2015
Despite my best efforts to try and control the world- I have not been successful.
I had researched weight loss surgery when I knew I needed mine. I knew what to expect from it. I knew some people lost quickly and some not so much. I knew everyone said they usually had a stall about 3 weeks out, and they could last a week or more. I "knew" all of this in the brain that sits atop my head. But knowing it- and KNOWING it- are two different things.
So despite that lovely knowledge- I have been in a major funk about my stall- about my inability to lose as fast as I want to- or as fast as others are. I have been told a million times we should not ever under any circumstances compare ourselves to anyone else- and I "know" that. But...I don't.
It often doesn't make sense to even me- and I'm living this journey. I do not understand how I can know something and yet- not really know it enough to let it be real. I do not really understand how I have known my entire life how I should eat to get healthy and yet- I did not know it enough to do it. All of that knowing- didn't really do anything for me.
Getting real with it means just acting on it- whether I believe it or not. Just acting as if things will work out for the best. Acting as if what is happening is supposed to. Accepting what I can't change. Getting real.
I can't say I'm enjoying this part of the journey very much- but I have a lot to be thankful for.
And I am trying to focus on that, and acknowledge it.