New beginnings, getting real

Thursday, September 03, 2015

Despite my best efforts to try and control the world- I have not been successful.

I had researched weight loss surgery when I knew I needed mine. I knew what to expect from it. I knew some people lost quickly and some not so much. I knew everyone said they usually had a stall about 3 weeks out, and they could last a week or more. I "knew" all of this in the brain that sits atop my head. But knowing it- and KNOWING it- are two different things.

So despite that lovely knowledge- I have been in a major funk about my stall- about my inability to lose as fast as I want to- or as fast as others are. I have been told a million times we should not ever under any circumstances compare ourselves to anyone else- and I "know" that. But...I don't.

It often doesn't make sense to even me- and I'm living this journey. I do not understand how I can know something and yet- not really know it enough to let it be real. I do not really understand how I have known my entire life how I should eat to get healthy and yet- I did not know it enough to do it. All of that knowing- didn't really do anything for me.

Getting real with it means just acting on it- whether I believe it or not. Just acting as if things will work out for the best. Acting as if what is happening is supposed to. Accepting what I can't change. Getting real.

I can't say I'm enjoying this part of the journey very much- but I have a lot to be thankful for.
And I am trying to focus on that, and acknowledge it.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I understand that we can know things yet still need to fully accept them. I have been there, am there and surely will there again. You can and surely will get through this. emoticon
    2140 days ago
  • SUNSHINE5268
    my dear angel... whether you realize it or not..... you are still VERY MUCH young in your journey lil one, hugssssssssssssssssssss

    I know you may not believe me now because you are IN the situation now....

    but this TOO SHALL PASS and you will continue to blossom, hugsssssssssssssss

    hang in there sweet angel..... God is with you..... emoticon

    2142 days ago
    Di HUGS!
    I totally understand knowing and not knowing. I am even better I can share the right info and encourage and then somehow dont realize that is just the stuff I need to hear, like it doesnt apply to me....LOL our minds at times.
    Keep working through all those thoughts and hope you can realize this is a big time of change for you and your body. As hard as this is please be patient and just give yourself the time to work all this out.
    Yes you have lots to be thankful for and that is a good focus right now.

    More hugs and love
    2150 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3189694
    Knowing it or KNOWING it.... acting on or acting as if... No matter what, tomorrow is another day.. and another opportunity to be kind to yourself and to relax and KNOW you are doing all you need to do. It's so hard for some of us to let go and let the process work it's own magic. "Take direction" a sponsor once told me.. that's all you have to do.. You're going to be fine!
    2150 days ago
    Being someone about to go through this process, I certainly appreciate your honesty. This is EXACTLY what I am looking for in the posts and blogs from others. I want to know that there is good and bad in all of this and that it is not going to be sunshine and roses everyday until I reach my goal. Just know that it is ok to be frustrated. It is okay to be angry, confused, lost - but most of all HAPPY. It is our emotions that make us HUMAN. If you need that extra pat on the back because you feel you can't do it yourself - we are all here for you! Stop trying to control the world. Just because things don't go the way you want it to, doesn't make it wrong. You only have control over you. I think you are pretty emoticon just from the posts I have read from you and the encouraging words you have given others. Believe in yourself as you believe in others!

    emoticon emoticon
    2150 days ago
    Just try to ride it out. You have gone through so much! I am sure it will pay off in the end. How about those NSVs???
    2151 days ago
  • HICIM705
    Hang in there ~ don't give up!!!

    2151 days ago
    Thinking of you!
    2151 days ago

    2152 days ago
  • no profile photo HOTPINKCAMARO49
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2152 days ago
    It sounds like all the details relating to your surgery have finally clicked into place and you are using your new found knowledge to manage the wait for the surgery and ultimately the wait loss. I wish you an excellent outcome and a speedy recovery.
    2152 days ago
  • KNH771
    I remember when I hit that first stall/plateau... Even knowing about it, I think it was really scary... a little, I've been through this surgery, and now it's not going to work?!? I had some complications from surgery, so my "stall" lasted a really long time. I think it helps to think of the stalls and plateaus as practice periods for long-term maintenance. A chance to build those skills. Hang in there!
    2152 days ago
    You're doing just fine. It really IS a one day, one pound at a time thing. I am really frustrated myself. I locked my scale into my locker at the Y. I rarely go into it. This will keep me from weighing again until Thursday. Congratulations on losing 4 pounds this week. GO YOU!!!
    2152 days ago
  • RED0427
    Don't give up. Remember, you've got someone counting on you to stick to it: You. You are relying on yourself to get through this difficult time and succeed! YOU can DO it!
    2152 days ago
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