VALLITTLEMAMA6

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Fall and body image

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

I love the fall! My daughter is struggling with body image. She slender and athletic, although not stick-thin. It is hard to know what to say to convince her she is a perfect size. Is my struggle to eat well and reach my goal weight hurting her? I can't tell.
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  • VALLITTLEMAMA6
    Great ideas, Central ValGal and Rudy Jr. Thanks!
    2016 days ago
  • MUSICMOMOF2
    Sorry to hear about her struggle. Hope you can find a way to get through to her.
    2018 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15522410
    Poor girl. And (((HUGS))) for you mom. Its hard when our children struggle with things, especially those we can not swoop in a fix.

    You say she is slender and athletic, but is she healthy? I only ask because I was always one of the bigger, athletic built girls in high school (you couldn't guess that now, but that is a different story). I was okay with being bigger because I knew I was healthy- I ate well and was one of the strongest female lifters in weight training. Maybe she just needs to look at her body differently- what can she do (run fast, kick a ball far, throw an awesome pitch, etc.). If she can see what she is capable of, she may begin to feel differently about her body and see her body shape as a strength. If she has some less than healthy habits (and we all do), would she like to make changes? I am not suggesting a diet, by maybe she would like to cut back on sugary snacks or soda or something. If she feels like she is making healthy choices, it might help boost her body confidence. And when we set our mind on things, it is hard to convince us otherwise. If your daughter is convinced she is not the perfect size, rather than tell her other wise, use it as an opportunity to open up a conversation. What does she think is "wrong"? What does she think would help her? Does she have an unrealistic expectation of what women should look like? If so, show her this... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/
    08/13/body-love-expose-project-
    jes-baker-liora-k_n_5672917.html View it first to make sure you think it is appropriate.

    As for your weight struggle "hurting her", I do not think that is the case. It may be effecting some of her thinking, but "hurting her" is a little extreme (I am saying this to reassure you, not minimize your feelings). It is hard to tell more specifically what might be going on without knowing you outside of SparkPeople, but here are somethings to think about. I learned in a psychology class that parents who emphasize skinniness, diets, forbidden foods, and so forth can create unhealthy thoughts in our children. Maybe just be conscious of things you say- focus on health, healthy choices, and how the choices you make will help you ___ (fill in the blank with be stronger, sleep better, run longer periods, feel healthy, etc.). Try to emphasize your changes from a healthy point of view.

    All that being said, I think having our children see our imperfections is a good thing. No one is perfect- not moms, dads, anyone. It is good for children to see that changing habits, coping with things, or whatever is completely normal.

    You are a great mom. =)
    2018 days ago
  • RUDYJR.
    Could do it together, keep it fun for her. Not sure how ready you are but maybe allow her to pick some of fitness challenges!
    2018 days ago
  • RUDYJR.
    Focus the conversation on good health & being healthy! The physique is a by product of being healthy! Maybe incorporate strength training to help her tone her body! I love the idea CENTRALVALGAL suggested; you two
    2018 days ago
  • CENTRALVALGAL
    Could u include her in your meal planning and exercise. My girlfriends daughter really struggled with her mom getting fit when she was 13. Not to say that is true in your case. Maybe u could be very direct about your struggles. Mom's r people too.
    2018 days ago
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