PICKING MYSELF UP
Tuesday, February 09, 2016
I know I was doing good for a bit. I do sign on everyday and read an article or 2. I like information. I want to grow. I've lost track of how long I haven't taken meds for my depression, this has always been the process; suffer go to the doctor "finally" get back on meds. feel much better for a few months then the meds fail. Then I think I can go without because I hate the annoying process. Yes I hate it. And the fact I will always battle this disease. Over the years I have tried counsoling, I must say its been probably 5 years or so. Not sure I want to get into the expense.. Life is so darn expensive and with my little paycheck of part time hours, its difficult to justify it.
I made sure I had a good breakfast this morning. And pushed myself to get dressed as I had notes all over the house to GET OUT of the house. Needing to return the library books and do my tax return. So I feel accomplished. Over all those little things will add up. I just need to get the "heaviness" to lift. Physically my back is hurting could because I lifted soil last night at work. I just recovered from a horrible stomach bug over the weekend on top of woman stuff, so I was mesirble. to the point I had to call out of work, ugh that's gonna suck on the paycheck. Its been a super hard year already. Somethings have resolved others well more serious and out of my control. Kind of a wait and see. Which I may need help coping with. I don't do that well with wait and see. This is so sounding like a pity party blog. Sorry that's just how bad ive been feeling and i'm still feeling. But I did get out of the house.