Reality Check

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

It's been a rough couple months. I'm still having some issues with feeling...good. Which is something I have kind of stopped expecting but it still catches me by surprise when it goes on too long. It's still better compared to last year.

I've had a couple things come up the last two days that were big reminders of where I WAS last year. One was a visit to my spine clinic today- it was last summer when I got the very bad news that my time was short unless we did something drastic. I remember how devastating it was to hear it put in months/years when no one had ever really been that blunt with me before. It was the catalyst that threw me into surgery and a life change last August.

The Dr. today was so happy- he made me feel like this was the most amazing journey ever! And it has been. And I'm profoundly grateful for everyone who cheered me on, gave me hope, told me not to quit and donated when i needed help to have surgery. I wouldn't be here- possibly literally- without the help.

The other was my admin showing me a photo she took last April of me winning an award for my state. I remember being so upset she took it- and posted it on facebook (she was just happy for me so she didn't realize I was so mortified by the photo). It's never easy to be faced with our realities when, I know for me at least, I prefer to live in the happy land of denial as much as possible most of the time. Which is what got me here.

So here is the photo from last April 2015- before all the changes happened.

and the last one taken for comparison (posted last week)
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