Time for a Change
Monday, March 21, 2016
Hi, I'm Jess, and I have an interesting relationship with food.
It all started with my mom. Before you freak out, I promise I don't believe that my mom caused my weight gain nor do I blame her for it. Let me tell you a story.
I grew up with a smart, beautiful, strong mom, who was unhappy with her weight. She was a size 16-18 and her own emotions about her dress size manifested in the way she harped on my sister and I about food. "Do you really need that?" "You just ate, how can you be hungry again?" and "If you're really hungry, you'll eat an apple or some carrots." Back then, I was really thin. I played three sports in high school and was recruited to play college softball. I ate a ton of food but I could; I was an active, growing teen. When I went away to St. Lawrence University, things began to change.
Without my mom's ever-watching eyes, I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and for the first time in my life, I began drinking alcohol. I played softball for a year but then quit so I could sing with the choir instead. My activity level declined but my calorie intake remained the same. Still, I didn't put on the majority of my weight until I graduated.
After graduation, I got a great job that paid pretty well. Now, I could buy WHATEVER food I wanted, and sat on my a$$ eight hours a day, five days a week doing an office job. My new finances combined with the fact that I no longer walked everywhere impacted the scale. Big time.
Fast forward to now: seven years after college graduation. I have Masters degree, a career I love, a husband I love, and an extra seventy pounds. Those pounds are all because I cannot control my portions and snacking. The meals I cook for my husband and I are (for the most part), really healthy. I run 4-5 days a week. Two years ago, I ran I half marathon. The past seven years have been spotted with chunks of time I like to call, "Jess, get your sh!t together." and I do - until I lose enough weight that I think my job is done and then it creeps back because, man, aren't old habits so easy to fall back into?
That's why I am here. I know I need to change my lifestyle and I thought that having the support and motivation of those who are doing it and have done it would help. I hope it does.