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Last Goodbyes

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

No, I'm not leaving Spark. Don't think I could ever end a relationship with a group that has been nothing but supportive, rewarding, and so positive to my health.

No, I'm saying my last goodbyes to carbohydrates for a while. This is really difficult for me.I'm actually holding back tears. I love my carbs. And I hate eggs. But I'm at the point that my options are limited.

The first two years were great. A total loss of 105 pounds. The last 2 years have been an upward spiral...upward as in the numbers on the scale. I watch what I eat, still measure out portions, cut out refined sugar, restrict my carbs to the early part of the day, do cardio, do strength training, and the result has been an almost 50 pound regain.

Physically, I feel great. But emotionally, it's taking a toll on me. I don't have the confidence like I used to, and there are days I just want to give up. The scale has become this tool I fear. I'm at the verge of a panic attack each time I step on it.

I've been going to Atkins meeting once a week so I can learn what to serve my husband and how to cook for him. In 3 weeks, he has lost 4 inches on his waist, and his blood sugar is more controlled. I tried to convince myself that because I don't have a health issue like diabetes, the diet isn't for me. So what do I do? Wait until it is?

There is NEVER a "good " day to start. So right now, I'm eating popcorn. In the morning I am weighing in, posting it, and beginning a new journey. One that I am not too excited to start. But if I look at the results of those around me, at least I have hope.
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